There are different ways to increase love in a relationship. some of them are as follows,
Commitment
In any relationship,commitment is very important. one must be committed to the relationship.without commitment its impossible to move forward.
02. Transparency
this is also crucial.one must be transparent enough. without it no lasting relationship can take place.
sincerity this gives strength to the relationship.
03. Maturity
This is very important. One must be willing to act as a mature adult. this means willing to act as a grown up.
04. Forgiving
This is important. Forgiveness is the glue of relationship. This is the divine element of a relationship.
05. Communication
This enhances love in a relationship. This makes the relationships alive. Without this relationship is dead.
Understanding the heart of a man is essential to meet his real needs.
The essential expectations by Titus Vargis.
Understanding the basics of any good relationship is not easy.
You have to let go of your own idea and ask the other person.
It is the foundation on which any great relationship is being built.
Let me share a few significant needs as a man in my relationship,
01. First Love
This is the thing that moves us. As men we look for that. We want our partners to have that same old spark. We can sense it. We yearn for that. Too often,it is missing.
02. A sense of wonder
As men,we look for a sense of wonder. We want to see that we are still heroes as we were at first sight. How often,we don’t get that. We love to see that we are still the number one in our relationships.
03. Not taken for granted
As men we don’t look for many bigger things. Basically we look for our worth. Are we still worthy or are we taken for granted? Well,we can sense it very easily that we are valued or taken for granted. We love to outperform ourselves but first we want to know that we are valued in our relationships.
04. A sense of gratitude
We look for gratitude. Gratitude in the sense of behavior or attitude. When men are given sufficient gratitude we would like to outperform ourselves. It’s the magic that propels us.
05. Understanding our silence
As men we are not always like women. We go into solitude. We go there to think and plan our lives. We don’t want to be misunderstood. When women respect our solitude we usually are ready to give what we are expected to.
Well the title itself says it all. We are all sum total of our imperfections and strengths. No one is from above. We can do two things,either we can look at good things or imperfections in our lives and relationships.
Both views have an immense impact on the quality of our lives and relationships.
Either we will look to good things and focus only on it. Thereby lead a great life. The other option is looking for imperfections and getting doomed.
We actually have no real choice here on earth. We have to embrace the imperfections no matter what.
Well,the choice is up to you and me. Let me share my five reasons on why I appreciate my relationship,
01. Life is short to keep on looking for perfect relationships. Really you and I can’t keep on moving from one relationship to another. Each of us have immense imperfections. It’s wise to stick to the one who shares your life values and loves you.
02. Loneliness is the most common sickness that leads to death. I don’t want to live alone and get lost in life. I choose to stay in my relationship.
03. We both have different strengths and we both meet the needs of each other. That’s why I stay in my relationship.
04. My relationship gives me a sense of significance. I stay in my relationship because it gives me a meaning in life.
05. I have seen many relationships getting broken around. I don’t want to lose my opportunities in life. I stay and know that life is an adventure filled with lots of happiness and surprises.
We are a postmodern generation. We have all the comforts which the previous generation did not have.
The basics of life by Titus Vargis
We are a generation of no scarcity.
Everything is available for us at the time we want it. The downside of this abundance is our lack of thinking about others. We seldom think about giving,but getting.
Times we live in by Titus Vargis
As a matter of fact we are the most selfish generation of all time.
It’s difficult for us to understand that giving is the only way for getting things in life.
What are the implementations of this? Let me share some important aspects which will bring drastic transformation in our relationships,
01. We get what we give. Let’s get it right.We get respect by first giving respect. Respect is not demanded. We must learn to give respect to our partner no matter what.
Heavenly relationships by Titus Vargis
02. Love is not a product that we can get by money,or power. Love is not dependent on our education or status. We must first give love in order to get it.
03. Just as accidents on roads are part of driving on the road, mistakes are part of being human It’s hard to expect perfection from a being that is bound to make mistakes because we are not robots. Accept mistakes as mistakes. Treat it like an accident. No one drives just to get into any accident. It happens. Unless we treat weakness as an integral part of our existence we would kill each other and harbor grudges.
04. In life 5 plus 5 is not always 10. What I mean is that you cannot expect people to act logically each time. We are also emotional beings. We do things sometimes out of our feelings of fear or anger. We may go wrong sometimes. It happens. Understand that life is not predictable. Things go wrong in spite of our careful calculations.
The game of life by Titus Vargis
05. Every day is a golden opportunity to do something different. No one is chained to act as if life is meaningless. Why not try a different approach? Why not try talking in a fair way? Why not make some other plans if plan A has gone wrong? Life is an adventure. Why don’t we change the patterns that make our relationship dull or boring?
It takes something more to raise a smart child,what are they?
Power words to use by Titus Vargis.
Kids are spontaneous and they find real happiness in the simple pleasures of life.
They get thrilled and enjoy little things like when they see a small bird, jump over dirty puddles, and even when they get to have their favorite ice creams.
They also like us go through the occasional blues,feel sad and be depressed too.
Power words can instill smart skills in kids to face life smartly.
These power words for kids are a great addition to a child’s vocabulary. These vocabulary words for kids really help them learn how to be encouraging, kind and nurturing.
It creates an encouraging and nurturing environment, which is helpful for their well-being and growth.
Here is a list of Power words for kids to help them build a strong and encouraging vocabulary.
What Life teaches you no one can teach on this planet.
Life as an ultimate relationship coach by Titus Vargis
Over the course of my relationship I had to learn many things.
As with everything else, in order for a relationship to work better I had to relearn and unlearn many many essential things.
Unfortunately,my relationship breakdown brought me to the walls.
I had to change myself and my way of dealing. Some of the important lessons that I learnt are as follows,
01.No one can fulfill you apart from yourself. Fulfilled life happens when you make efforts on yourself. No one can do it for you.
02.You are responsible for your own wellbeing. Others cannot be responsible for your well-being. They can only support you to some extent.
Relationship by choice by Titus Vargis
03.Your partner can’t be your savior by any chance. It’s suicidal to exalt anyone to meet all your needs. Don’t expect even gods to solve your personal chaos. You must get up and keep yourself straight.
04.Others are not obliged to clean up your mess. You need to act mature and take up the responsibility.
05.It’s not a relationship that brings blessings but your own attitude. Everything depends upon your perspective.
06.What you give will ultimately return to you. This law seems to apply to all things on this planet.
There are no shortcuts by Titus Vargis
07.There is no overnight birth of a beautiful life and relationship. Don’t expect to eat apples overnight when you have not waited for a good amount of time. Nothing happens overnight.
You don’t have to be a victim anymore,take control of your life now.
You are not the victim anymore by Titus Vargis.
The fault in our relationship by Titus Vargis
There is a huge rise in abusive females in our world. It’s not reported by most men out of shame.
Our Society likes to think it’s the female who’s always the weak,so the equation goes like this:
Abusive relationships = men at fault.
The reason behind this equation is that men are stronger than women.
This is the most fallacious misconception. It’s not the truth. In Fact this is the real culprit. The real cause of marital breakdown.
In any case of reporting to the police,there is bias at work in the system.The police just ignore men and never listen to what men want to say.
Most of the time it won’t be accepted by society that any woman can abuse a man.
This is gross inhuman practice that’s prevalent in many so called developed countries.
Let me put in following points in order to explore these personality:
1) Consider the ads and movies, where it’s common to see women belittling men, even many men are projected there as stupid, foolish.
2) Society, especially narcissistic ones, are training girls and women to abuse men in their lives be it indirectly. The so-called feminist movements add fuel to it.
3) Society as a whole is narrating a different mode of conduct with regards to men. It’s brainwashing to the point of hating men no matter what.
4) Narcissistic women teach others to refuse to respect any boundaries set by society and men.
There must be a way by Titus Vargis
5) Narcissists play the victim card. Of course they cry,scream and create drama. They know very well how to influence people a lot so that they will believe in their account.
6) Narcissistic women can’t take any form of constructive feedback.
7) Narcissists lack empathy. They have no feelings for men! They love a little and hate you at the same time.
8) Narcissists withhold sex to punish men.
9) Narcissists are materialistic. They will say things like, you take me out, you give me what I want when I want it.
10.Narcissistic values men based on his financial capabilities.
The blackmail by Titus Vargis
PART B.HOW TO MANAGE A NARCISSISTIC PARTNER?
1.Don’t take the bait.
They are irrational, far from reality. Whatever comes from them is not rational. Completely ignore them. when they want you to react,just leave the room.
2. When they start to play with your feelings just tell them,
“You are right with your emotions just as I am.”
3.They struggle with their internal chaos and their life shows just the same. Don’t allow them to dictate your life. Take control of your life.
Life is hard sometimes and you can’t lose your precious life but how?
How my Suicidal tendencies went Away?
It’s not easy. It’s monumental. It’s not a sickness that you take a pill and it goes away.
My struggle with the darkness by Titus Vargis
Let me come to the point,to say it in short.
First things first,
1. Suicidal thoughts are born out of long term sufferings of stress & harsh realities of life.
2. It’s not possible to get out of it by forcing one’s thoughts alone. No one can get out of it like that. It is ridiculous!
No,it does not work that way. You are Outrightly wrong. It’s not a physical sickness just like cough and cold.
3.Suicidal tendencies are out of one’s control. Understand this. No one wants to live like that.It’s a living hell. One can’t escape by himself.
4. Suicidal thoughts can develop over a period of time while being in total failure, death of a loved one, terrible loss in life or business,terminal sickness & sufferings.
5. The person who is affected by it already has done everything to come out of it but he’s helpless. This is the number one truth. He is really really helpless,and that’s the reason he’s thinking of ending his life.
No one likes to stay depressed by Titus VargisMy struggle with depression by Titus Vargis.
Now,let me share my experience:
Suicidal thoughts were not in me until my father was alive. But once he had passed away I went into a stage of utter despondency.
I was the eldest son and I had a younger brother. We were still studying in schools. My mother had no job. Financially we were struggling.
During this period,I developed abnormal fears, including fear of people,fear of open spaces.
This created total imbalance in our family. This deeply affected my wellbeing.
As an eldest Son, I had the responsibility to look after my mother and brother.
Here I was in utter darkness & I felt I was not living upto my family’s expectations. I was unable to stay normal and earn a living.
I developed serious depression & went to consult the doctor. Doctor prescribed some medicines for me. I wanted to come out of this mess.
Medication really helped me. Previously I could not sleep at night but now I was sleeping well. My fears subsided to an extent and I attempted to start living my normal life once again.
Financially I had nothing to support my family so that I can feel proud about myself. Feelings of worthlessness increased my depression.I felt I was useless. I found no hope.
I developed a whole range of depressive thinking, different fears, and anger.
I attempted suicide many times. I did not see any point in living. I had tried all ways to get rid of depression. Medicines,Yoga, Positive talk, Exercises.
Nothing brought any lasting solution. Staying positive did not help.Nothing worked.Absolutely.
Medicines did not cure my suicidal tendencies. I was fed up with my life. I did not want to live as a burden to others.
Happiness is costly by Titus Vargis
Deep down my heart I wanted to live and earn lots of money. It didn’t happen. No one saved me.
My mother was a praying woman. She kept on praying for my recovery. She prayed to Jesus. Her prayers brought my answers. My life began to change.
My plans of suicide did not work. I must say I am alive because of Jesus Christ.
It was all because of my Heavenly Father. He just would not let me commit suicide. All my plans to end my life could not succeed.
I must say it took a while for me to become normal. It’s been more than 10 years now. Since then I have never thought about suicide.
My life is no longer the same. I now from my experience can say that no medicines can cure suicidal tendencies. No surface level efforts either.
I believe one must have a paradigm shift. One can’t just get over these dangerous tendencies just by thinking or behaving the right way.
Suicide is deeply related to our Soul. It’s a sickness of the Soul.
Unless and until this soul sickness is dealt with, one just can’t overcome it.
One surely can overcome suicidal tendencies with the help of God. Jesus Christ is the answer. God alone can heal this sickness of the Soul.
When the Soul is healed, a person begins to think about living boldly no matter what.
I believe this experience will help a lot of others who go through suicidal tendencies.
Thank you very much for reading.I am glad you read it.
Life is not a bed of Roses still lot of it depends on how we manage ourselves.
I really can not explain what the relationship I had with my daddy. It was a relationship built in heaven.No one can come close to my dad.
My black days and years by Titus Vargis.
I lost him suddenly and it left me a world full of unknowns. O my how would I move an inch without my earthly God? This was my constant thoughts.
I was afraid.I was willing to suicide even tried to jump into the river.But I think God did not allow it to happen.I was though absolute confident about suicide. I hated life as a whole.
I came to the TRUE colors of my own. The plasticity of our society.The wicked heart hiding beneath the sober men and women.
I had to learn to live again.It was hell.It was absolute unnecessary I thought. So,how anyways I stood on my ground again?
1. My mother stood By me.If there was one solid ground that held me it was my mother.She carried me and came to rescue me.I didn’t see her going away when I needed her the most.
My mother was my Angel by Titus vargis.
2. My supreme help came from my heavenly Father. My God in whom I found refuge.To say the least,it was God who literally stood behind me.It was God who gave me boldness.When all else left me it was the presence of God that stood closer to me.This changed my life.
My Heavenly Father my Saviour by Titus Vargis.
3. My hobbies such as listening music and reading kept me away from serious depression. It was music that changed my mood altogether. Then books. I survived because of reading the biographies of great men.I purposely read great men and their life stories.I knew if they can succeed I too can.
My hobbies were working by Titus Vargis.
4. My brother stood By me all through my dark times.He was there with me.He never left me.I didn’t feel I am lonely. I was supported By him.He financed me when I had no job.No money in my pocket.I truly thank God for him.
My brother my angel by Titus Vargis.
5. My mentors motivated me.I infact got my mentors through books.They were inspirational and a source of power to me.I felt I too can overcome any difficulties. This transformed my life.This gave me hope.This made me an overcomer. I have survived all because of these.I could not live well when my dad passed away. I felt it was impossible to live again.Yet I overcame those difficulties.
My mentors were great by Titus Vargis.
You too can overcome your mountains.
Keep trying. Never give up.Find some mentors.Find your own survival tactics.
Kids are no less than divine. You can kill their positivity unknowingly.
Kids are very fragile and we should know how to handle them.
What kids go through in their life affect their future very much.
Most of the times parents are not careful about how they deal with their kids.
What parents do with their kids have immense impact on their kids.
Better parenting by Titus Vargis.
Let’s examine what are those things which kill kid’s positivity:
01. Constant criticism is the number one poison which kills positivity. Parents who constantly criticise over small things can destroy kid’s self esteem.
02. Making kids a slave and making them do things forcefully. Kids are slaves when they are required to follow instructions over every things they need to do.This can seriously harm them in their long run.They lose all sense of self worth.
03. Abusing kids in behaviour or words.Kids are not stones.They are human beings too.What we as adult feel they feel too. When we abuse them they start abusing themselves.
04. Loving kids based on their performance. Kids are often praised or punished as their performance. Kids are not machines.what you think is not possible for them all the times.
05. Cruel words by parents or family can seriously hamper their positive growth.parents who discipline using harsh and cruel words can discourage their kids.They even can give up and become suicidal.
Be an awesome parents by Titus Vargis.
06. Stop Over pampering. Kids need to be learning uneasy things too.Giving them too much of pampering can make them less confident.
07. Violence in any form can literally kill the positivity of your kids.When kids face violence in their homes they can start rebelling.
08. Giving them what they ask quickly can hamper their perceptions about reality of life.Kids need to learn that not all things can be obtained as they want.This is life and parents need to teach them.
09. Taking decisions on behalf of kids can have a negative impact. Let kids take the responsibility and make their own decisions. Ofcourse you can guide them.
10. Not listening to kids can have a negative impact. They might feel worthless and think that their opinions and matters dont value much.
Better parenting by Titus vargis.
PART 02. WHAT CAN YOU DO BETTER AS A PARENT?
Now let’s see what parents can do to stop being negative to their kids:
A. Be careful how you deal with them.They need respect too just as much you do.
B. Never use harsh words.
C. Always praise for their small achievements.
D. Love them more and criticise them less.
E. Show your full support when they need it from you.Even when they are weak or failing.
F. Let children know you are on their side.
G. Stop correcting their behaviour all the time.
They need freedom and space just as you do.
Lets see that our kids remain strong as they grow with us.We need to healthy and confident kids.That must be the ultimate goal of any parents.
If you are in love say it.If you really really are in genuine love,go and say it.
Because expressing your love is very okay.
But I have an advice to those who say I love you for the sake of saying it and who want to manipulate others.
I feel playing with other’s feelings is a terrible form of violence.
You might not know how other person feel when they see your true face.
It’s tragic! It’s a crime! I say mother of all tragedies.
If you say I love you and then try to act like it but you have no proof of it,then literally you are stabbing the other person.
It’s a tragedy when someone believes in you and later finds out that you are a liar!People are not toys to play with. When someone gets attracted to you and they hear loving words from you then they really believe you for it.
But to fake love it’s killing the other person.Love is a serious business,and you either make a person or break them.
Never say I love you for the sake of using the person for your own selfish ambition.
Hey don’t be giving up when things are going against you.
Tough times are not for ever.
Here are some wisdom and inspiration for you as you might be facing rough times in your life or relationship.
1. If you accept tough times are part of the seasons of life, it will keep you from sinking into depression.
2. Maintain a healthy perspective. Going through tough times doesn’t mean you are not blessed, you are actually being prepared for something great. Preparation is often not easy but it is the foundation of better things to come.
3. Tough times will reveal to you your true friends and expose the fake ones.
4. Tough times will introduce to you real friends who are attracted to your purpose.
5. The best ideas tend to be conceptualized in tough times.
6. Sometimes God allows you to go through tough times to wake you up and get your attention especially when you have become too familiar with Him.
7. Sometimes you have to reach a dead end where no one but God can help you, so that no one but God can receive the glory.
8. Great people have learnt the art of converting tough times into a path to being a master of something.
9. There are some lessons that tough times will teach you that good times can’t.
10. Tough times will open your eyes to see opportunities and doors that complacent you did not.
11. Some of us lack the courage to move past our current level and lack the initiative to take the next step on our own, tough times will catapult you to the next stage of your life that you are afraid to take.
12. Tough times will make you naked so that you see yourself for who you truly are. Tough times will force you to be real with yourself, what are you really made of? Because when you are going through tough times, there is no one to impress, you have to be you.
13. Most couples enter their best season after they reach rock bottom. That is when their true love is tested and they emerge stronger together.
May you find strength and wisdom to face your rough times,and may you rise up stronger than ever.
There can be no sorry for some issues in any relationship.
There is no excuse my dear by Titus Vargis
5 things I hate in my marriage, and these can happen in any relationship.
Well,they must be avoided at any cost to save your relationship.
01. When I don’t receive back what I give. I always try my best to give love,care, and forgiveness to my partner. Even respect when I feel I have been mistreated.
02. When I don’t feel that my partner keeps the secrets about me. This frustrates me.
03. When I find that in matters of money I cannot ask my partner about my needs.when I get answers like it’s my money,why didn’t you keep your money? This turns me off. I strongly believe that as a partner one should help each other in all ways possible.
04. When I am not consulted regarding some major issues. It can be buying any stuffs or taking a big decision. As a partner one should always first ask one’s partner about their suggestions.
05. When I am ridiculed in front of others and my partner too joins them. This hurts me the most.
Sometimes we don’t look around and find what keeps us from being an overcomer. We might be looking at bigger things that is keeping us from achieving. But it need not be bigger things but smaller things or insignificant things. Life has taught me that some of the things that keeps me defeated are: 1. My thoughts of past hurts and people who have hurt me. 2. My habit of not forgiving. Many times in order to achieve greater things We must leave aside our past. 3. My opinion about myself based on my past experiences. 4. My unrealistic expectations about future.We expect overnight success. But it doesn’t happen like that. 5. My constant comparison with others. Many times we constantly compare ourselves with others. This keeps us defeated. 6. Negative self talks. We self talk negatively and keep ourselves in the pit of darkness. These things keep us stuck forever in our defeated states. We must be kinder to ourselves and treat more lovingly.
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