The authenticity of love
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The authenticity of love
The most crucial question of any lasting relationship
https://medium.com/@milkywaysidea/are-you-a-parasite-b494904ef2a1
https://open.substack.com/pub/titusvargis/p/can-you-please-tell-me-morethe-secret?r=7io0r&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
The monumental question mankind has been struggling with.
The most crucial question in the World is this: what God wants?
The strength of the question is not in the ‘what’ but in GOD.
Humankind has been asking this question from ages.
The man in his search for meaning and significance realised that no one can give him meaning and significance on this planet but GOD.
The question implies that there is a GOD. Our existence demands our significance.
We as a human being are looking for the reasons behind our existence.
The GOD factor helps us to face the uncertainties of this planet.
Gods and the question by Titus Vargis.
We don’t find our meaning and significance in our money or people. People are not the ones we are looking for our monumental question.
We look to GOD for our monumental question. We know that the one who brought us into this planet is GOD himself.
For centuries mankind has founded religions and practices that try to give his soul the answers.
What God wants? How can we answer this question?
We must go through the oceans of the Holy Books and the story tellers.
We have found that God wants our heart,body,money,soul and so on.
But does this confirm our answers?
Are we sure about this?
If God wants bla bla bla bla bla….then why God is still God sitting somewhere and doing nothing…?
The truth that we search for is this,
GOD HAS EVERYTHING. GOD IS LARGER THAN EVERYTHING.
GOD IS SO FULL OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED NOT GIVE HIM ANYTHING.
MOREOVER THE MOST MONUMENTAL TRUTH IS THIS: GOD DID NOT ASK THIS QUESTION.
IT WAS NOT THE QUESTION THAT GOD ASKED. GOD WANTS NOTHING. GOD OWNS THE MILKYWAY AND THE STARS. THE UNIVERSE BELONGS TO HIM.
once you look onto this truth, you are changed forever. God is not looking for something. God cares nothing about what you give to Him.
It’s the so called religion and priests that demand everything in the name of God. So that they get everything in the name of God.
The Power behind the religion is putting up lots of requirements to the people. Unless you put impossible requirements people won’t come to you for help.
The monumental answer by Titus Vargis.Photo by Adnan Khan on Unsplash
This creates a cycle of exploitation. This way people can be effectively exploited. We see for centuries mankind has been duped.
Even the so called good religions are exploiting in the name of their gods.
Let’s examine these answers. Let’s find the exploitation and demand answers from the so called keepers of gods.
© Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
Life gets more better as one puts more love.
There are many reasons for my frustrations in life.
They really are numerous but some of them are more recurring.
Let me share a few of them.
I believe these things will help women to realize what frustrates a man in a relationship.
1. Feelings overtaking the sensibility.
2. Inability to understand what makes me angry.
3. Always expecting me to understand her but not taking efforts to understand me.
4. Lack of gratitude
5. Complaining always.
6. Criticizing my character when it should have been my wrong behavior.
7.Childish behavior.
I get hurt easily. Don’t know why. I am caring for others.
Yet I wonder about how easily I get hurt. Especially from my close ones.
I am not selfish. I care about my relationship.
I put my whole being into my children. I put my love.
I never listen to even myself when I get a chance to help my relationship.
Still I get touchy very often.
I am not that vocal about my pain.
I am not easily expressive.
I am keeping my feelings to myself.
I am like that.
But I wonder why I am not that strong.
I am weak frankly. And that’s the reason I care.
That’s why I love my relationship even to the point of being exhausted.
I am weak, that’s why I know what it is to get hurt,what it’s to be unloving.
I have seen enough wrecked people. I have seen people so wicked who don’t care about you.
I have seen getting abused. I have heard painful and hurting abusive language spoken against me.
I have seen my father passed even in my younger days.
I have seen poverty. I have seen people hurting you purposely.
I have seen people who left me when I was vulnerable.
Still I did not stop caring. Especially my relationship.
Frankly speaking,I have not received what I give to others. Others don’t always reciprocate.
This hurts me.
I expect others to see my hurt. I expect them not to say that it breaks my heart.
It seems that they don’t care that much.
Hey,still I have not acted like them. This is not a weakness. This is not stupidity. This is divine.
This is the reason as a human being we are not wiped out of this planet. Such people exist.
This makes the difference.
Thank you for taking time. God bless.
Let me know what are your thoughts.
Do share even if it’s little.
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
Introduction
Hey my friend,giving up is easy. But I don’t want you to give up.
Well,here are few Bible verses about not giving up.
Not giving up by any means
“Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
This verse reminds us that ultimately God’s plans for us are good, no matter what emotions they make us feel in the moment.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)
Here I will show you how can I save my relationship in 30 seconds.
Well its very easy. I will give you exact steps to follow so that you can achieve your goal.
Let me share steps to achieve youe goal,
communication is essential to achieve success in relationship. one must learn to express oneself in a relationship. it takes efforts to communicate effectively. do your best to communicate with your partner.
learning to be effective in relationship requires commitment. you must put all your efforts into your relationship. it should not be half hearted efforts.
appreciation is the oxygen for any good relationship. when you see your partner doing some things effectively and sincerely then dont forget to tell them words of appreciation.
showing affection is key to achieve success in relationship. express love with your partner, this will improve your relationship.
love without forgiveness is fake. when you truly love somebody you are going to see them make mistakes. thats part of life. forgiveness plays an important role in any good relationship. when we forgive someone then we get value from that person. we show them that they are valuable to us.
relationship is based on taking our responsibility. when we are committed to taking responsibility our relationship gets better.
Empathy is essential part of any good relationship.
Taking time for each other is very much important.
Let not impatience destroy your relationship.
There are no stars to guide us except our own maturity.
There are many reasons for relationship ending.
Life is painful often but it has to be dealt with wisely.
No relationship is perfect unless we decide that it’s our responsibility to make it happen.
We are what we choose to do. No one can do it all for us. Not even gods.
Why should we not be more mature enough to act like grown up s?
Some of the reasons for relationship failures are,
1. Lack of maturity
Let’s face it, relationship break because of our lack of maturity. We act like we are entitled to what we want at our time. This breaks our relationship.
2. Bad attitude
A bad attitude not only hinders our life but also our relationship.
3. Wrong upbringing
Very often our upbringing determines how we behave with our spouse. It takes hard work and dedication to unlearn wrong things from our behaviour.
4. Feeling of superiority
Very often we act as if we are superior to others. This kills our relationship.
5. Foul language
Saying right things in a wrong way is still wrong.
6. Constant interrogation
If we keep on interrogate our partner it will harm our relationship.
7. Lack of gratitude
This is all about keeping on demanding but not being thankful for good things done by our partner.
8. No place for respect
A relationship without proper respect is a graveyard.
9. Constant comparison
Regular comparison of your spouse with others is a true poison for any relationship.
10. Lack of empathy
Having no empathy is a sure way to kill the relationship.
11. Narcissistic behaviour
Narcissists never achieve anything in life. They are always killing others for their own selfish goals and objectives.
© Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
Never ignore the essential mechanism of your man.
There are different love language of men. While women loves to hear ‘I love you’ it’s different for any man.
Let’s quickly find out 16 essential ways to love deeply your man,
1. Walk the talk
Men want to see you love him in your actions.
2. Never ignore him in front of people
3. The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
Ask him what he loves to eat and give him often.
4. Appreciate his efforts
Love your man by Titus Vargis
5. Look for things that he does so well.
6. Notice him when he excels.
7. Take his advice and guidance.
Before acting on any decisions,make sure to take his opinion.
8. Listen to him.
Listen with your eyes and ears.
9. Make him feel good about himself.M
Make him feel good by your loving words.
10. Show your love using his love language.
Use his love language rather than yours. This will make him feel loved.
11. Stand with him in disappointment.
12. Accept him for who he is.
Never try to compare him with anyone.
Let him be loved as he is. Let him know you love him as he is already.
13. Address your complaints respectfully.
Take time and relax. When you are calm and in a good mood discuss your concerns.
14. Ask him for major decision making.
Let him know you value his opinions.
15. Respect his boundaries.
16. Don’t question his silence and alone time.
Understand that it’s imperative for a man to take alone times in order to rethink and rewind himself.
There are different ways to increase love in a relationship. some of them are as follows,
In any relationship,commitment is very important. one must be committed to the relationship.without commitment its impossible to move forward.
02. Transparency
this is also crucial.one must be transparent enough. without it no lasting relationship can take place.
sincerity this gives strength to the relationship.
03. Maturity
This is very important. One must be willing to act as a mature adult. this means willing to act as a grown up.
04. Forgiving
This is important. Forgiveness is the glue of relationship. This is the divine element of a relationship.
05. Communication
This enhances love in a relationship. This makes the relationships alive. Without this relationship is dead.
What does it take to win your love for me? Asking the most crucial question of our relationship.
Let me tell you. It is not incompatibility. It’s not behavior. It’s not looks. Not perfection.
It’s simply this: asking your partner each day what does it take to win your love for me today?
Unfortunately,this crucial question is usually asked at the beginning of our relationship.
Later,unknowingly we overlook it. This is the biggest mistake we all make.We begin to undermine the person’s changing nature.
You see,we are evolving with time. Each of us are changing.The person I was ten days or ten years ago is not the same.Even after 10 days I will not remain the same.
We are constantly changing.
It’s said that you can’t step into a river twice.What does that imply?
It implies that our needs keep on changing as time passes by.Today we need something different from yesterday.
What we need today is not what we needed earlier.
Each day we need to ask our partners what their present needs or expectations are.
Once we know that we are better at providing the partner what he or she needs.
Unless we ask this on a regular basis we will be assuming the needs of our partners.Thereby we won’t receive the appreciation that we are looking for.
Moreover we won’t be satisfying our partners by providing that they don’t really need at this moment.
what is it that you are expecting from me today?
Or what is it that you want me to do for you today?
What necessary things I need to do for you that will meet your needs today?
There is power in this approach.
First of all it gives your partner a sense of significance.
Second, it implies that you are genuinely interested in helping the partner.
Thirdly,it makes it easier for you to find out what can be done now that can improve the life of your partner without hurting him or her.
We are meant to satisfy the person we are interacting with. The more we make others happy the more our relationships get better.
But how can we make others happy unless we ask them what they need?
It’s also significant to note that here your attitude matters most. Words must correlate with genuine attitude.
Once we are getting used to asking this question we will find that we are better at providing what our partner is expecting from us.
It’s not through assumptions that we get success in life or relationships.
But through deliberate efforts and sincerity.
Best wishes,
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
Understanding the heart of a man is essential to meet his real needs.
Understanding the basics of any good relationship is not easy.
You have to let go of your own idea and ask the other person.
It is the foundation on which any great relationship is being built.
Let me share a few significant needs as a man in my relationship,
01. First Love
This is the thing that moves us. As men we look for that. We want our partners to have that same old spark. We can sense it. We yearn for that. Too often,it is missing.
02. A sense of wonder
As men,we look for a sense of wonder. We want to see that we are still heroes as we were at first sight. How often,we don’t get that. We love to see that we are still the number one in our relationships.
03. Not taken for granted
As men we don’t look for many bigger things. Basically we look for our worth. Are we still worthy or are we taken for granted? Well,we can sense it very easily that we are valued or taken for granted. We love to outperform ourselves but first we want to know that we are valued in our relationships.
04. A sense of gratitude
We look for gratitude. Gratitude in the sense of behavior or attitude. When men are given sufficient gratitude we would like to outperform ourselves. It’s the magic that propels us.
05. Understanding our silence
As men we are not always like women. We go into solitude. We go there to think and plan our lives. We don’t want to be misunderstood. When women respect our solitude we usually are ready to give what we are expected to.
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
My continue conversations with God through my writings and my journal.
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