Life Lessons
Stop blaming everything in 2023 but make a brutal resolution about your life but how?
Life is an adventure but I don’t know how can I save my life?
Relevant information about getting the dream life you wish for:
1. Luck is non existent
2. Belief is the most crucial currency of a blessed life.
3. There are different perspectives about everything in life. Choose the best one.
4. Think about your biases. On which bias are you looking on?
5. We get angry when we are not at peace with our Past.
6. Asking forgiveness makes you divine.
7. It takes fear and love both to get moving in any relationship. Fear has it’s purpose.
8. No one can make you angry without your consent.
9. No one can make you happy without your permission.
©Titus Vargis,
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
How breakthrough comes in a life of mess? How I almost got killed but survived?
Life is not mathematics. That means it’s not five plus five equal to ten here.
We can’t lay down our plans but it’s life that overrules here on this planet.
We can either fear or face it. There are no other way around.
As human beings,we are not superhuman. We are not Hollywood superstars either.
Life is difficult and more than difficult for the vast majority of us. What can we do about it?
How did the breakthrough happen? My own life is a great example.
I lost my dad at a very young age. I almost had nothing to hold on to. It was almost impossible to carry on.
I decided to give up. I attempted suicide several times. But I couldn’t succeed. God perhaps had other plans.
No human being could stop my depression. My life was a mess. I had no money. My mother had no job. Moreover my younger brother was in school.
Someone introduced a higher way. I was not ready to accept anything. As I had become hopeless I didn’t even want to try anything.
But after much consideration,I thought why not should I take this chance.
My life changed bit by bit. It was as if I was gaining a new perspective of life. I was vulnerable. I had no hope but now I was hopeful.
Misery became a miracle. I started praying. I started my relationship with Jesus. I had no purpose in life.
My suicidal thoughts began to disappear. I found relief. A big relief.My family began to change.My condition improved.
I don’t want to say that you need to try this too but I would say it gets really better when we try. No one can help a hopeless person. No amount of money can remove bad luck.
One needs a divine hand. It’s in fact the only way. I think had I not tried this path I would have definitely ended my life somehow.
Life gives you no relief. Friends can help to some point. No one walks with you forever.
My life got transformed. It was a miracle indeed.
Let’s face it: you can’t carry pain and despair forever. You can’t live in such desperation. You will not survive.
Now I am glad that I took this path. My life still has a lot of weaknesses but I am courageous now. I am glad that I found the answer.
Best wishes.
what to do when your relationship is at breaking point?
When life throws a lemon,don’t get bitter but act smart for your own sake.
There are times in our life and relationship that wreck us to the core. What we do about it decides where we end up?
My own life experiences has wrecked me many times. I was almost broke to the point of giving up my life.
No one in my life took interest in my life but escalated my pain.
I had to take decision. I was determined not to give up any more.
Life became my teacher. I tried all my resources and friends to find out what must be done to get out of this narrow place.
Here are few crucial steps that we can take when our relationship is at the breaking point.
Let me start,
1. Take full responsibility if you’re at fault
One important thing is to not act like children. You must be authentic. You need to take full responsibility if you know you are at fault.
2. Extend compassion and care to the person you hurt
Be human. Be compassionate. Learn to extend compassion. You get what you give.
3. Give your partner the opportunity to win your trust back
4. Practice radical transparency
Be absolutely transparent. Don’t play games. Be serious enough. You can’t destroy what you built for many years.
5. Consult with a professional
6. Don’t let your world revolve around your partner
7. Learn to compromise
Life is not always mathematics. Life requires compromises. You can’t be a god on earth. You need to accommodate the other.
8. Spend time with friends outside of your relationship.
Don’t put all eggs in one basket.
9. Engage in affectionate physical contact
10. Use skilled communication
Be careful how you communicate. You might be hurting the other person by the way you talk.
11. Speak from your heart
Listen to your heart. Speak from your heart.
12. Actively listen
Practice listening. Relationships require active listening. Unless we listen,we do a one man show.
13. Healthy conflict resolution strategies
You must find conflict resolution strategies. For that you must learn from the experts. You must do it.
14. Get to the root cause
Find out the root causes of your chaos.
15. Follow your gut feelings
Your gut knows what is best for you.
Dear traveler on the journey called life, let me share something.
You are not your thoughts tell you.
Dear traveler,
I am glad to meet you and say something to you.
I believe we all have different names to comment on our struggles on this journey. But I think that we all have the same struggles.
We might be poor or rich. We might be less confident or more.
We might be from countries that are called developed or not so.
We might be thinking we are alone. We think we are here but no one knows us.
Yet,we can’t blame anyone. We are still warriors. We need someone like a mirror that says so. This is the thing we lack. We have many doomsayers. We have many who discourage us.
Yet we are conquerors. We are not aware. The main secret is this: we must not quit.
Sooner or later,we win. We get to the destination. We are really not alone. It’s our mind that tells us that we are alone. Like our mind being programmed .
Share with someone what you go through. Find someone. No one is perfect. We are still traveling.
It’s our ego that stops us from association. It’s our prejudices. It’s our culture. You know what? If we overcome these,we will win together.
Why not? Ask yourself. Ask the universe. Ask the roads. Here,we are not losers.
Stand up. Walk again. Move a bit if you can’t run.
Don’t stop. Let’s start again. Together. Give me your hand. Hold me and let’s run.
I believe in you. Our destiny calls us. Thank you.
Yours brother,
A traveler.
Ask me more ( the secret question we ask from others but never say)
https://open.substack.com/pub/titusvargis/p/can-you-please-tell-me-morethe-secret?r=7io0r&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
What God really really wants?
The monumental question mankind has been struggling with.
The most crucial question in the World is this: what God wants?
The strength of the question is not in the ‘what’ but in GOD.
Humankind has been asking this question from ages.
The man in his search for meaning and significance realised that no one can give him meaning and significance on this planet but GOD.
The question implies that there is a GOD. Our existence demands our significance.
We as a human being are looking for the reasons behind our existence.
The GOD factor helps us to face the uncertainties of this planet.
Gods and the question by Titus Vargis.
We don’t find our meaning and significance in our money or people. People are not the ones we are looking for our monumental question.
We look to GOD for our monumental question. We know that the one who brought us into this planet is GOD himself.
For centuries mankind has founded religions and practices that try to give his soul the answers.
What God wants? How can we answer this question?
We must go through the oceans of the Holy Books and the story tellers.
We have found that God wants our heart,body,money,soul and so on.
But does this confirm our answers?
Are we sure about this?
If God wants bla bla bla bla bla….then why God is still God sitting somewhere and doing nothing…?
The truth that we search for is this,
GOD HAS EVERYTHING. GOD IS LARGER THAN EVERYTHING.
GOD IS SO FULL OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED NOT GIVE HIM ANYTHING.
MOREOVER THE MOST MONUMENTAL TRUTH IS THIS: GOD DID NOT ASK THIS QUESTION.
IT WAS NOT THE QUESTION THAT GOD ASKED. GOD WANTS NOTHING. GOD OWNS THE MILKYWAY AND THE STARS. THE UNIVERSE BELONGS TO HIM.
once you look onto this truth, you are changed forever. God is not looking for something. God cares nothing about what you give to Him.
It’s the so called religion and priests that demand everything in the name of God. So that they get everything in the name of God.
The Power behind the religion is putting up lots of requirements to the people. Unless you put impossible requirements people won’t come to you for help.
The monumental answer by Titus Vargis.Photo by Adnan Khan on Unsplash
This creates a cycle of exploitation. This way people can be effectively exploited. We see for centuries mankind has been duped.
Even the so called good religions are exploiting in the name of their gods.
Let’s examine these answers. Let’s find the exploitation and demand answers from the so called keepers of gods.
© Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
Giving up is Okay and 10 other uncommon perspectives on living your life.
Life is an adventure.
1. People are everywhere.You need to learn to interact with them.
2. Problems are part of association. As long as we are here on this planet,we will get hurt some way or the other. Accept this.
3. Learn to deal with the weirdness of the masses.
4. Family is the only shelter available here on this Earth. Treat them with utmost importance.
5. No matter what, learn to ask forgiveness from your family. Accept that you made the mistake if you have made it.
6. Loneliness is the most cruel reality of our life on the planet. Learn to embrace it.
7. Develop some habits. It can be anything that you find joy. Immerse yourself into it. It heals your body and soul.
8. You are a soul with a body. Looking after your soul is more important than your body. Learn to feed your soul.
9. Associate with some humans. Find someone who can accompany you. Find your partner.
10.Giving up is okay. Find something new. Keep seeking. No one can tell you what you must do.
11. Life is an adventure. Learn more and more. Unlearn something that you have learnt in the past which serves nothing.
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
My confessions: I care about others but I am weak. The paradox of weakness.
I get hurt easily. Don’t know why. I am caring for others.
Yet I wonder about how easily I get hurt. Especially from my close ones.
I am not selfish. I care about my relationship.
I put my whole being into my children. I put my love.
I never listen to even myself when I get a chance to help my relationship.
Still I get touchy very often.
I am not that vocal about my pain.
I am not easily expressive.
I am keeping my feelings to myself.
I am like that.
But I wonder why I am not that strong.
I am weak frankly. And that’s the reason I care.
That’s why I love my relationship even to the point of being exhausted.
I am weak, that’s why I know what it is to get hurt,what it’s to be unloving.
I have seen enough wrecked people. I have seen people so wicked who don’t care about you.
I have seen getting abused. I have heard painful and hurting abusive language spoken against me.
I have seen my father passed even in my younger days.
I have seen poverty. I have seen people hurting you purposely.
I have seen people who left me when I was vulnerable.
Still I did not stop caring. Especially my relationship.
Frankly speaking,I have not received what I give to others. Others don’t always reciprocate.
This hurts me.
I expect others to see my hurt. I expect them not to say that it breaks my heart.
It seems that they don’t care that much.
Hey,still I have not acted like them. This is not a weakness. This is not stupidity. This is divine.
This is the reason as a human being we are not wiped out of this planet. Such people exist.
This makes the difference.
Thank you for taking time. God bless.
Let me know what are your thoughts.
Do share even if it’s little.
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
TOP MOST BIBLE VERSES ABOUT NOT GIVING UP…EVEN IN THE HARDEST TIMES
Introduction
Hey my friend,giving up is easy. But I don’t want you to give up.
Well,here are few Bible verses about not giving up.
- 2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. I Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain
- “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)
- “Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)
- “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
- “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
- “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
Not giving up by any means
- “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)
- The Lord Holds Us in His Hands
“Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)
- There’s a Harvest for Those Who Don’t Give Up
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
- “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
- God Is With You
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
This verse reminds us that ultimately God’s plans for us are good, no matter what emotions they make us feel in the moment.
- His Grace Is Sufficient
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)
What does it take to win your love for me?
What does it take to win your love for me? Asking the most crucial question of our relationship.
Did you know what breaks relationships very often?
Let me tell you. It is not incompatibility. It’s not behavior. It’s not looks. Not perfection.
It’s simply this: asking your partner each day what does it take to win your love for me today?
Unfortunately,this crucial question is usually asked at the beginning of our relationship.
Later,unknowingly we overlook it. This is the biggest mistake we all make.We begin to undermine the person’s changing nature.
You see,we are evolving with time. Each of us are changing.The person I was ten days or ten years ago is not the same.Even after 10 days I will not remain the same.
We are constantly changing.
It’s said that you can’t step into a river twice.What does that imply?
It implies that our needs keep on changing as time passes by.Today we need something different from yesterday.
What we need today is not what we needed earlier.
Each day we need to ask our partners what their present needs or expectations are.
Once we know that we are better at providing the partner what he or she needs.
Unless we ask this on a regular basis we will be assuming the needs of our partners.Thereby we won’t receive the appreciation that we are looking for.
Moreover we won’t be satisfying our partners by providing that they don’t really need at this moment.
There are different ways to ask this question,like
what is it that you are expecting from me today?
Or what is it that you want me to do for you today?
What necessary things I need to do for you that will meet your needs today?
There is power in this approach.
Let me tell you briefly why asking this question matters,
First of all it gives your partner a sense of significance.
Second, it implies that you are genuinely interested in helping the partner.
Thirdly,it makes it easier for you to find out what can be done now that can improve the life of your partner without hurting him or her.
We are meant to satisfy the person we are interacting with. The more we make others happy the more our relationships get better.
But how can we make others happy unless we ask them what they need?
It’s also significant to note that here your attitude matters most. Words must correlate with genuine attitude.
Once we are getting used to asking this question we will find that we are better at providing what our partner is expecting from us.
It’s not through assumptions that we get success in life or relationships.
But through deliberate efforts and sincerity.
Best wishes,
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
On 5 reasons why I like my relationship in spite of 100 reasons to quit!
There ain’t no heaven on earth frankly speaking.
On why I choose to not quit by Titus Vargis
Well the title itself says it all. We are all sum total of our imperfections and strengths. No one is from above.
We can do two things,either we can look at good things or imperfections in our lives and relationships.
Both views have an immense impact on the quality of our lives and relationships.
Either we will look to good things and focus only on it. Thereby lead a great life. The other option is looking for imperfections and getting doomed.
We actually have no real choice here on earth. We have to embrace the imperfections no matter what.
Well,the choice is up to you and me.
Let me share my five reasons on why I appreciate my relationship,
01. Life is short to keep on looking for perfect relationships. Really you and I can’t keep on moving from one relationship to another. Each of us have immense imperfections. It’s wise to stick to the one who shares your life values and loves you.
02. Loneliness is the most common sickness that leads to death. I don’t want to live alone and get lost in life. I choose to stay in my relationship.
03. We both have different strengths and we both meet the needs of each other. That’s why I stay in my relationship.
04. My relationship gives me a sense of significance. I stay in my relationship because it gives me a meaning in life.
05. I have seen many relationships getting broken around. I don’t want to lose my opportunities in life. I stay and know that life is an adventure filled with lots of happiness and surprises.
©Titus Vargis, PhD
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
Most crucial facts about your life and relationship
There are no shortcuts to fulfilling life.
We are a postmodern generation. We have all the comforts which the previous generation did not have.
We are a generation of no scarcity.
Everything is available for us at the time we want it. The downside of this abundance is our lack of thinking about others. We seldom think about giving,but getting.
As a matter of fact we are the most selfish generation of all time.
It’s difficult for us to understand that giving is the only way for getting things in life.
What are the implementations of this? Let me share some important aspects which will bring drastic transformation in our relationships,
01. We get what we give. Let’s get it right.We get respect by first giving respect. Respect is not demanded. We must learn to give respect to our partner no matter what.
02. Love is not a product that we can get by money,or power. Love is not dependent on our education or status. We must first give love in order to get it.
03. Just as accidents on roads are part of driving on the road, mistakes are part of being human It’s hard to expect perfection from a being that is bound to make mistakes because we are not robots. Accept mistakes as mistakes. Treat it like an accident. No one drives just to get into any accident. It happens. Unless we treat weakness as an integral part of our existence we would kill each other and harbor grudges.
04. In life 5 plus 5 is not always 10. What I mean is that you cannot expect people to act logically each time. We are also emotional beings. We do things sometimes out of our feelings of fear or anger. We may go wrong sometimes. It happens. Understand that life is not predictable. Things go wrong in spite of our careful calculations.
05. Every day is a golden opportunity to do something different. No one is chained to act as if life is meaningless. Why not try a different approach? Why not try talking in a fair way? Why not make some other plans if plan A has gone wrong? Life is an adventure. Why don’t we change the patterns that make our relationship dull or boring?
©Titus Vargis.
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
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