Life is hard sometimes and you can’t lose your precious life but how?
How my Suicidal tendencies went Away?
It’s not easy. It’s monumental.
It’s not a sickness that you take a pill and it goes away.
Let me come to the point,to say it in short.
First things first,
1. Suicidal thoughts are born out of long term sufferings of stress & harsh realities of life.
2. It’s not possible to get out of it by forcing one’s thoughts alone. No one can get out of it like that. It is ridiculous!
No,it does not work that way. You are Outrightly wrong. It’s not a physical sickness just like cough and cold.
3.Suicidal tendencies are out of one’s control. Understand this. No one wants to live like that.It’s a living hell. One can’t escape by himself.
4. Suicidal thoughts can develop over a period of time while being in total failure, death of a loved one, terrible loss in life or business,terminal sickness & sufferings.
5. The person who is affected by it already has done everything to come out of it but he’s helpless. This is the number one truth. He is really really helpless,and that’s the reason he’s thinking of ending his life.
Now,let me share my experience:
Suicidal thoughts were not in me until my father was alive. But once he had passed away I went into a stage of utter despondency.
I was the eldest son and I had a younger brother. We were still studying in schools. My mother had no job. Financially we were struggling.
During this period,I developed abnormal fears, including fear of people,fear of open spaces.
This created total imbalance in our family. This deeply affected my wellbeing.
As an eldest Son, I had the responsibility to look after my mother and brother.
Here I was in utter darkness & I felt I was not living upto my family’s expectations. I was unable to stay normal and earn a living.
I developed serious depression & went to consult the doctor. Doctor prescribed some medicines for me. I wanted to come out of this mess.
Medication really helped me. Previously I could not sleep at night but now I was sleeping well. My fears subsided to an extent and I attempted to start living my normal life once again.
Financially I had nothing to support my family so that I can feel proud about myself. Feelings of worthlessness increased my depression.I felt I was useless. I found no hope.
I developed a whole range of depressive thinking, different fears, and anger.
I attempted suicide many times. I did not see any point in living. I had tried all ways to get rid of depression. Medicines,Yoga, Positive talk, Exercises.
Nothing brought any lasting solution. Staying positive did not help.Nothing worked.Absolutely.
Medicines did not cure my suicidal tendencies. I was fed up with my life. I did not want to live as a burden to others.
Deep down my heart I wanted to live and earn lots of money. It didn’t happen. No one saved me.
My mother was a praying woman. She kept on praying for my recovery. She prayed to Jesus. Her prayers brought my answers. My life began to change.
My plans of suicide did not work. I must say I am alive because of Jesus Christ.
It was all because of my Heavenly Father. He just would not let me commit suicide. All my plans to end my life could not succeed.
I must say it took a while for me to become normal. It’s been more than 10 years now. Since then I have never thought about suicide.
My life is no longer the same. I now from my experience can say that no medicines can cure suicidal tendencies. No surface level efforts either.
I believe one must have a paradigm shift. One can’t just get over these dangerous tendencies just by thinking or behaving the right way.
Suicide is deeply related to our Soul. It’s a sickness of the Soul.
Unless and until this soul sickness is dealt with, one just can’t overcome it.
One surely can overcome suicidal tendencies with the help of God. Jesus Christ is the answer. God alone can heal this sickness of the Soul.
When the Soul is healed, a person begins to think about living boldly no matter what.
I believe this experience will help a lot of others who go through suicidal tendencies.
Thank you very much for reading.I am glad you read it.
© Titus Vargis