what to do when your relationship is at breaking point?

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When life throws a lemon,don’t get bitter but act smart for your own sake.

Life cycle by Titus Vargis.

There are times in our life and relationship that wreck us to the core. What we do about it decides where we end up?

My own life experiences has wrecked me many times. I was almost broke to the point of giving up my life.

No one in my life took interest in my life but escalated my pain.

I had to take decision. I was determined not to give up any more.

Life became my teacher. I tried all my resources and friends to find out what must be done to get out of this narrow place.

Here are few crucial steps that we can take when our relationship is at the breaking point.

Let me start,

1. Take full responsibility if you’re at fault

One important thing is to not act like children. You must be authentic. You need to take full responsibility if you know you are at fault.


2. Extend compassion and care to the person you hurt

Be human. Be compassionate. Learn to extend compassion. You get what you give.

3. Give your partner the opportunity to win your trust back



4. Practice radical transparency

Be absolutely transparent. Don’t play games. Be serious enough. You can’t destroy what you built for many years.



5. Consult with a professional



6. Don’t let your world revolve around your partner



7. Learn to compromise

Life is not always mathematics. Life requires compromises. You can’t be a god on earth. You need to accommodate the other.



8. Spend time with friends outside of your relationship.

Don’t put all eggs in one basket.



9. Engage in affectionate physical contact



10. Use skilled communication

Be careful how you communicate. You might be hurting the other person by the way you talk.



11. Speak from your heart

Listen to your heart. Speak from your heart.



12. Actively listen

Practice listening. Relationships require active listening. Unless we listen,we do a one man show.



13. Healthy conflict resolution strategies

You must find conflict resolution strategies. For that you must learn from the experts. You must do it.



14. Get to the root cause

Find out the root causes of your chaos.



15. Follow your gut feelings

Your gut knows what is best for you.

Dear traveler on the journey called life, let me share something.

by
love and marriage coach

You are not your thoughts tell you.

love and marriage coach
Hey warrior by Titus Vargis.

Dear traveler,

I am glad to meet you and say something to you.

I believe we all have different names to comment on our struggles on this journey. But I think that we all have the same struggles.

We might be poor or rich. We might be less confident or more.

We might be from countries that are called developed or not so.

We might be thinking we are alone. We think we are here but no one knows us.

Yet,we can’t blame anyone. We are still warriors. We need someone like a mirror that says so. This is the thing we lack. We have many doomsayers. We have many who discourage us.

Yet we are conquerors. We are not aware. The main secret is this: we must not quit.

Sooner or later,we win. We get to the destination. We are really not alone. It’s our mind that tells us that we are alone. Like our mind being programmed .

Share with someone what you go through. Find someone. No one is perfect. We are still traveling.

It’s our ego that stops us from association. It’s our prejudices. It’s our culture. You know what? If we overcome these,we will win together.

Why not? Ask yourself. Ask the universe. Ask the roads. Here,we are not losers.

Stand up. Walk again. Move a bit if you can’t run.

Don’t stop. Let’s start again. Together. Give me your hand. Hold me and let’s run.

I believe in you. Our destiny calls us. Thank you.

Yours brother,
A traveler.

What God really really wants?

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Giving up is easy but never give up
The monumental question of our existence by Titus Vargis.

The monumental question mankind has been struggling with.



The most crucial question in the World is this: what God wants?

The strength of the question is not in the ‘what’ but in GOD.

Humankind has been asking this question from ages.

The man in his search for meaning and significance realised that no one can give him meaning and significance on this planet but GOD.

The question implies that there is a GOD. Our existence demands our significance.

We as a human being are looking for the reasons behind our existence.

The GOD factor helps us to face the uncertainties of this planet.



Gods and the question by Titus Vargis.

We don’t find our meaning and significance in our money or people. People are not the ones we are looking for our monumental question.

We look to GOD for our monumental question. We know that the one who brought us into this planet is GOD himself.

For centuries mankind has founded religions and practices that try to give his soul the answers.

What God wants? How can we answer this question?

We must go through the oceans of the Holy Books and the story tellers.

We have found that God wants our heart,body,money,soul and so on.

But does this confirm our answers?

Are we sure about this?

If God wants bla bla bla bla bla….then why God is still God sitting somewhere and doing nothing…?

The truth that we search for is this,

GOD HAS EVERYTHING. GOD IS LARGER THAN EVERYTHING.

GOD IS SO FULL OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED NOT GIVE HIM ANYTHING.

MOREOVER THE MOST MONUMENTAL TRUTH IS THIS: GOD DID NOT ASK THIS QUESTION.

IT WAS NOT THE QUESTION THAT GOD ASKED. GOD WANTS NOTHING. GOD OWNS THE MILKYWAY AND THE STARS. THE UNIVERSE BELONGS TO HIM.

once you look onto this truth, you are changed forever. God is not looking for something. God cares nothing about what you give to Him.

It’s the so called religion and priests that demand everything in the name of God. So that they get everything in the name of God.

The Power behind the religion is putting up lots of requirements to the people. Unless you put impossible requirements people won’t come to you for help.



The monumental answer by Titus Vargis.Photo by Adnan Khan on Unsplash

This creates a cycle of exploitation. This way people can be effectively exploited. We see for centuries mankind has been duped.

Even the so called good religions are exploiting in the name of their gods.

Let’s examine these answers. Let’s find the exploitation and demand answers from the so called keepers of gods.

© Titus Vargis

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

7 things I hate in my relationship and they frustrate me : what women should not do in a relationship?

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Life gets more better as one puts more love.

Giving up is easy but never give up
Not giving up by any means



There are many reasons for my frustrations in life.



They really are numerous but some of them are more recurring.

Let me share a few of them.

I believe these things will help women to realize what frustrates a man in a relationship.

1. Feelings overtaking the sensibility.

2. Inability to understand what makes me angry.

3. Always expecting me to understand her but not taking efforts to understand me.

4. Lack of gratitude

5. Complaining always.

6. Criticizing my character when it should have been my wrong behavior.

7.Childish behavior.

Love and Relationship by Titus Vargis.

Giving up is Okay and 10 other uncommon perspectives on living your life.

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Life is an adventure.

Life is an adventure by Titus Vargis

1. People are everywhere.You need to learn to interact with them.


2. Problems are part of association. As long as we are here on this planet,we will get hurt some way or the other. Accept this.


3. Learn to deal with the weirdness of the masses.


4. Family is the only shelter available here on this Earth. Treat them with utmost importance.


5. No matter what, learn to ask forgiveness from your family. Accept that you made the mistake if you have made it.


6. Loneliness is the most cruel reality of our life on the planet. Learn to embrace it.


7. Develop some habits. It can be anything that you find joy. Immerse yourself into it. It heals your body and soul.


8. You are a soul with a body. Looking after your soul is more important than your body. Learn to feed your soul.


9. Associate with some humans. Find someone who can accompany you. Find your partner.


10.Giving up is okay. Find something new. Keep seeking. No one can tell you what you must do.


11. Life is an adventure. Learn more and more. Unlearn something that you have learnt in the past which serves nothing.

©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

TOP MOST BIBLE VERSES ABOUT NOT GIVING UP…EVEN IN THE HARDEST TIMES

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Relationship are awesome

Introduction

Hey my friend,giving up is easy. But I don’t want you to give up.
Well,here are few Bible verses about not giving up.

  • 2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. I Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain

Never give up
I will not give up

  • “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)
  • “Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)
  • “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
  • “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
  • “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

Giving up is easy but never give up

Not giving up by any means

  • “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)
  • The Lord Holds Us in His Hands

“Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)

  • There’s a Harvest for Those Who Don’t Give Up

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

  • “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
  • God Is With You

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

This verse reminds us that ultimately God’s plans for us are good, no matter what emotions they make us feel in the moment.

  • His Grace Is Sufficient

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)

HOW CAN I SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP IN 30 SECONDS?

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Here I will show you how can I save my relationship in 30 seconds.

How can I save my relationship in 30 seconds
Saving relationship

Well its very easy. I will give you exact steps to follow so that you can achieve your goal.

Let me share steps to achieve youe goal,

1.Communicate effectively

communication is essential to achieve success in relationship. one must learn to express oneself in a relationship. it takes efforts to communicate effectively. do your best to communicate with your partner.

2.Commitment

learning to be effective in relationship requires commitment. you must put all your efforts into your relationship. it should not be half hearted efforts.

3.Show appreciation

appreciation is the oxygen for any good relationship. when you see your partner doing some things effectively and sincerely then dont forget to tell them words of appreciation.

4.Show affection

showing affection is key to achieve success in relationship. express love with your partner, this will improve your relationship.

5.Follow forgiveness

love without forgiveness is fake. when you truly love somebody you are going to see them make mistakes. thats part of life. forgiveness plays an important role in any good relationship. when we forgive someone then we get value from that person. we show them that they are valuable to us.

6.Take responsibility

relationship is based on taking our responsibility. when we are committed to taking responsibility our relationship gets better.

7.Empathy

Empathy is essential part of any good relationship.

8.Time for each other

Taking time for each other is very much important.

9.Patience

Let not impatience destroy your relationship.

How to increase love in a relationship?

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There are different ways to increase love in a relationship. some of them are as follows,

  1. Commitment

In any relationship,commitment is very important. one must be committed to the relationship.without commitment its impossible to move forward.

02. Transparency

this is also crucial.one must be transparent enough. without it no lasting relationship can take place.
sincerity this gives strength to the relationship.

03. Maturity

This is very important. One must be willing to act as a mature adult. this means willing to act as a grown up.

04. Forgiving

This is important. Forgiveness is the glue of relationship. This is the divine element of a relationship.

05. Communication

This enhances love in a relationship. This makes the relationships alive. Without this relationship is dead.

What does it take to win your love for me?

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What does it take to win your love for me? Asking the most crucial question of our relationship.

The main thing is this
The essential things in a relationship

Did you know what breaks relationships very often?

Let me tell you. It is not incompatibility. It’s not behavior. It’s not looks. Not perfection.

It’s simply this: asking your partner each day what does it take to win your love for me today?

Unfortunately,this crucial question is usually asked at the beginning of our relationship.

Later,unknowingly we overlook it. This is the biggest mistake we all make.We begin to undermine the person’s changing nature.

You see,we are evolving with time. Each of us are changing.The person I was ten days or ten years ago is not the same.Even after 10 days I will not remain the same.

We are constantly changing.
It’s said that you can’t step into a river twice.What does that imply?

It implies that our needs keep on changing as time passes by.Today we need something different from yesterday.

What we need today is not what we needed earlier.

Each day we need to ask our partners what their present needs or expectations are.

Once we know that we are better at providing the partner what he or she needs.

Unless we ask this on a regular basis we will be assuming the needs of our partners.Thereby we won’t receive the appreciation that we are looking for.

Moreover we won’t be satisfying our partners by providing that they don’t really need at this moment.

There are different ways to ask this question,like

what is it that you are expecting from me today?

Or what is it that you want me to do for you today?

What necessary things I need to do for you that will meet your needs today?

There is power in this approach.

Let me tell you briefly why asking this question matters,

First of all it gives your partner a sense of significance.

Second, it implies that you are genuinely interested in helping the partner.

Thirdly,it makes it easier for you to find out what can be done now that can improve the life of your partner without hurting him or her.

We are meant to satisfy the person we are interacting with. The more we make others happy the more our relationships get better.

But how can we make others happy unless we ask them what they need?

It’s also significant to note that here your attitude matters most. Words must correlate with genuine attitude.

Once we are getting used to asking this question we will find that we are better at providing what our partner is expecting from us.

It’s not through assumptions that we get success in life or relationships.

But through deliberate efforts and sincerity.
Best wishes,
©Titus Vargis

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

5 important things as a man I wish I got from my relationship!!

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Understanding the heart of a man is essential to meet his real needs.

The essential expectations by Titus Vargis.

Understanding the basics of any good relationship is not easy.

You have to let go of your own idea and ask the other person.

It is the foundation on which any great relationship is being built.

Let me share a few significant needs as a man in my relationship,

01. First Love


This is the thing that moves us. As men we look for that. We want our partners to have that same old spark. We can sense it. We yearn for that. Too often,it is missing.

02. A sense of wonder

As men,we look for a sense of wonder. We want to see that we are still heroes as we were at first sight. How often,we don’t get that. We love to see that we are still the number one in our relationships.

03. Not taken for granted

As men we don’t look for many bigger things. Basically we look for our worth. Are we still worthy or are we taken for granted? Well,we can sense it very easily that we are valued or taken for granted. We love to outperform ourselves but first we want to know that we are valued in our relationships.

04. A sense of gratitude

We look for gratitude. Gratitude in the sense of behavior or attitude. When men are given sufficient gratitude we would like to outperform ourselves. It’s the magic that propels us.

05. Understanding our silence

As men we are not always like women. We go into solitude. We go there to think and plan our lives. We don’t want to be misunderstood. When women respect our solitude we usually are ready to give what we are expected to.

©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

On 5 reasons why I like my relationship in spite of 100 reasons to quit!

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There ain’t no heaven on earth frankly speaking.

On why I choose to not quit by Titus Vargis




Well the title itself says it all. We are all sum total of our imperfections and strengths. No one is from above.
We can do two things,either we can look at good things or imperfections in our lives and relationships.

Both views have an immense impact on the quality of our lives and relationships.

Either we will look to good things and focus only on it. Thereby lead a great life. The other option is looking for imperfections and getting doomed.

We actually have no real choice here on earth. We have to embrace the imperfections no matter what.

Well,the choice is up to you and me.
Let me share my five reasons on why I appreciate my relationship,

01. Life is short to keep on looking for perfect relationships. Really you and I can’t keep on moving from one relationship to another. Each of us have immense imperfections. It’s wise to stick to the one who shares your life values and loves you.



02. Loneliness is the most common sickness that leads to death. I don’t want to live alone and get lost in life. I choose to stay in my relationship.



03. We both have different strengths and we both meet the needs of each other. That’s why I stay in my relationship.



04. My relationship gives me a sense of significance. I stay in my relationship because it gives me a meaning in life.



05. I have seen many relationships getting broken around. I don’t want to lose my opportunities in life. I stay and know that life is an adventure filled with lots of happiness and surprises.

©Titus Vargis, PhD
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

Most crucial facts about your life and relationship

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There are no shortcuts to fulfilling life.

We are a postmodern generation. We have all the comforts which the previous generation did not have.

The basics of life by Titus Vargis

We are a generation of no scarcity. 

Everything is available for us at the time we want it. The downside of this abundance is our lack of thinking about others. We seldom think about giving,but getting.

Times we live in by Titus Vargis

As a matter of fact we are the most selfish generation of all time.

It’s difficult for us to understand that giving is the only way for getting things in life.

What are the implementations of this? Let me share some important aspects which will bring drastic transformation in our relationships,

01. We get what we give. Let’s get it right.We get respect by first giving respect. Respect is not demanded. We must learn to give respect to our partner no matter what.

BEGIN THE ADVENTURE WITH US.
Heavenly relationships by Titus Vargis

02. Love is not a product that we can get by money,or power. Love is not dependent on our education or status. We must first give love in order to get it.

03. Just as accidents on roads are part of driving on the road, mistakes are part of being human It’s hard to expect perfection from a being that is bound to make mistakes because we are not robots. Accept mistakes as mistakes. Treat it like an accident. No one drives just to get into any accident. It happens. Unless we treat weakness as an integral part of our existence we would kill each other and harbor grudges.

04. In life 5 plus 5 is not always 10. What I mean is that you cannot expect people to act logically each time. We are also emotional beings. We do things sometimes out of our feelings of fear or anger. We may go wrong sometimes. It happens. Understand that life is not predictable. Things go wrong in spite of our careful calculations.

The game of life by Titus Vargis

05. Every day is a golden opportunity to do something different. No one is chained to act as if life is meaningless. Why not try a different approach? Why not try talking in a fair way? Why not make some other plans if plan A has gone wrong? Life is an adventure. Why don’t we change the patterns that make our relationship dull or boring? 

©Titus Vargis.

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

51 Power words for raising smart kids.

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It takes something more to raise a smart child,what are they?

Power words to use by Titus Vargis.




Kids are spontaneous and they find real happiness in the simple pleasures of life.

They get thrilled and enjoy little things like when they see a small bird, jump over dirty puddles, and even when they get to have their favorite ice creams.

They also like us go through the occasional blues,feel sad and be depressed too.

Power words can instill smart skills in kids to face life smartly.

These power words for kids are a great addition to a child’s vocabulary. These vocabulary words for kids really help them learn how to be encouraging, kind and nurturing.



It creates an encouraging and nurturing environment, which is helpful for their well-being and growth.

Here is a list of Power words for kids to help them build a strong and encouraging vocabulary.


1.Awesome
2.Trustful
3.Confident
4.Leader
5.Passionate
6.Young
7.Motivating
8.Adaptable
9.Endearing
10.Adventurous
11.Free
12.Persuasive
13.Practical
14.Decisive
15.Fan
16.Steady
17.Understanding
18.Successful
19.Accomplished
20.Straight
21.Enterprising
22.Witty
23.Forward
24.Warm
25.Courteous
26.Poetic
27.Happy
28.Brave
29.Consistent
30.Stunning
31.Detailed
32.Focused
33.Particular
34.Fervent
35.Quick
36.Fast
37.Talented
38.Nurturing
39.Distinguished
40.Eager
41.Inventor
42.Honest
43.Fascinating
44.Authentic
45.Proud
46.Balanced
47.Wondrous
48.Brilliant
49.Skilled
50.Special
51.Worthy

Raising a smart child by Titus Vargis.

© Titus Vargis

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

A story from Titus Vargis,PhD on Medium

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Read this story from Titus Vargis,PhD on Medium: https://titusvargis.medium.com/hey-my-friend-are-you-looking-for-relationship-transformation-and-refreshing-104d3fcf8c1b

Our pleasure to help you by Titus Vargis.

You are not alone. We are here to help you as you go through rough times in your life and relationship.

Come and see what great things can happen when you believe.

We are here to make you succeed.

Yes,you can find joy again.

© Titus Vargis.

7 things my relationship breakdown taught me that no coach can teach.

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What Life teaches you no one can teach on this planet.

Life as an ultimate relationship coach by Titus Vargis

Over the course of my relationship I had to learn many things.

As with everything else, in order for a relationship to work better I had to relearn and unlearn many many essential things.

Unfortunately,my relationship breakdown brought me to the walls.

I had to change myself and my way of dealing. Some of the important lessons that I learnt are as follows,


01.No one can fulfill you apart from yourself. Fulfilled life happens when you make efforts on yourself. No one can do it for you.


02.You are responsible for your own wellbeing. Others cannot be responsible for your well-being. They can only support you to some extent.

Relationship by choice by Titus Vargis


03.Your partner can’t be your savior by any chance. It’s suicidal to exalt anyone to meet all your needs.
Don’t expect even gods to solve your personal chaos. You must get up and keep yourself straight.

04.Others are not obliged to clean up your mess. You need to act mature and take up the responsibility.


05.It’s not a relationship that brings blessings but your own attitude. Everything depends upon your perspective.


06.What you give will ultimately return to you. This law seems to apply to all things on this planet.

There are no shortcuts by Titus Vargis


07.There is no overnight birth of a beautiful life and relationship. Don’t expect to eat apples overnight when you have not waited for a good amount of time. Nothing happens overnight.

© Titus Vargis

Understanding narcissistic females and 3 very easy ways to deal with them.

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You don’t have to be a victim anymore,take control of your life now.

You are not the victim anymore by Titus Vargis.

The fault in our relationship by Titus Vargis


There is a huge rise in abusive females in our world.
It’s not reported by most men out of shame.

Our Society likes to think it’s the female who’s always the weak,so the equation goes like this:

Abusive relationships = men at fault.

The reason behind this equation is that men are stronger than women.

This is the most fallacious misconception. It’s not the truth.
In Fact this is the real culprit. The real cause of marital breakdown.


In any case of reporting to the police,there is bias at work in the system.The police just ignore men and never listen to what men want to say.


Most of the time it won’t be accepted by society that any woman can abuse a man.


This is gross inhuman practice that’s prevalent in many so called developed countries.

Let me put in following points in order to explore these personality:

1) Consider the ads and movies, where it’s common to see women belittling men, even many men are projected there as stupid, foolish.

2) Society, especially narcissistic ones, are training girls and women to abuse men in their lives be it indirectly. The so-called feminist movements add fuel to it.

3) Society as a whole is narrating a different mode of conduct with regards to men.
It’s brainwashing to the point of hating men no matter what.

4) Narcissistic women teach others to refuse to respect any boundaries set by society and men.

There must be a way by Titus Vargis



5) Narcissists play the victim card.
Of course they cry,scream and create drama. They know very well how to influence people a lot so that they will believe in their account.

6) Narcissistic women can’t take any form of constructive feedback.

7) Narcissists lack empathy.
They have no feelings for men! They love a little and hate you at the same time.

8) Narcissists withhold sex to punish men.

9) Narcissists are materialistic.
They will say things like,
you take me out, you give me what I want when I want it.


10.Narcissistic values men based on his financial capabilities.

The blackmail by Titus Vargis




PART B.HOW TO MANAGE A NARCISSISTIC PARTNER?

1.Don’t take the bait.

They are irrational, far from reality. Whatever comes from them is not rational.
Completely ignore them. when they want you to react,just leave the room.

2. When they start to play with your feelings just tell them,

“You are right with your emotions just as I am.”

3.They struggle with their internal chaos and their life shows just the same.
Don’t allow them to dictate your life. Take control of your life.

© Titus Vargis

This is the real thing that wrecks our life and relationships,beware of this!

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No one talk about this but this is the real culprit behind our Titanic stories.

Right now,I need this in my life and relationship,I know everyone needs this. Would we be caring enough to do this?
The task no one can say no to but it depends whether we truly understand it’s importance.

The underlying cause by Titus Vargis

The underlying cause by Titus Vargis.


The sad truth is this: we have social connections,enough money and beautiful people in our lives but this is really missing.
Well,in order to live we need three basic necessities: water,food and a home.


But to have an ideal relationship,we need more than these.
We are searching for significance.
Yes,you heard me right.
Deep down of our soul we don’t look for social connections or huge castles but significance.


What’s significance?
It’s a value we get as a human being. To not be treated as a zombie. To be getting respect as an individual,as a homosepians.
We yearn for meaning in life, not 5 star food or star status on the offering.


We look for importance,sense of worth, acceptance more than physical things.
In a relationship,quite often we give everything so easily and we think we have done our best.


Think about this, do you not look for significance? Sense of worth from your relationship?
If we are keen to provide this,other things would not create any issue.
This is the ‘Thing’ that wrecks you and me and everbody.

The Matrix by Titus Vargis


This the it that breaks beautiful relationship.
This is the reason others get hurt and you too when you are treated less than being worthwhile.
Best wishes,
© Titus vargis

Are you asking the Right question to others? Alert: This might forever change their destiny.

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The power of a more sensible approach towards others even when you don’t want to help others.

The power to impact others by Titus Vargis

Read this story from Titus Vargis,PhD on Medium: https://titusvargis.medium.com/are-you-asking-the-right-questions-to-others-alert-doing-so-can-forever-change-their-destiny-b9a154ee1de7

Hey, are you struggling with depression? Let me share how my Suicidal tendencies went Away?

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Love and marriage

Life is hard sometimes and you can’t lose your precious life but how?

How my Suicidal tendencies went Away?

It’s not easy. It’s monumental.
It’s not a sickness that you take a pill and it goes away.

My struggle with the darkness by Titus Vargis

Let me come to the point,to say it in short.

First things first,

1. Suicidal thoughts are born out of long term sufferings of stress & harsh realities of life.

2. It’s not possible to get out of it by forcing one’s thoughts alone. No one can get out of it like that. It is ridiculous!

No,it does not work that way. You are Outrightly wrong. It’s not a physical sickness just like cough and cold.

3.Suicidal tendencies are out of one’s control. Understand this. No one wants to live like that.It’s a living hell. One can’t escape by himself.

4. Suicidal thoughts can develop over a period of time while being in total failure, death of a loved one, terrible loss in life or business,terminal sickness & sufferings.

5. The person who is affected by it already has done everything to come out of it but he’s helpless. This is the number one truth. He is really really helpless,and that’s the reason he’s thinking of ending his life.

No one likes to stay depressed by Titus Vargis
My struggle with depression by Titus Vargis.

Now,let me share my experience:

Suicidal thoughts were not in me until my father was alive. But once he had passed away I went into a stage of utter despondency.



I was the eldest son and I had a younger brother. We were still studying in schools. My mother had no job. Financially we were struggling.

During this period,I developed abnormal fears, including fear of people,fear of open spaces.

This created total imbalance in our family. This deeply affected my wellbeing.

As an eldest Son, I had the responsibility to look after my mother and brother.

Here I was in utter darkness & I felt I was not living upto my family’s expectations. I was unable to stay normal and earn a living.

I developed serious depression & went to consult the doctor. Doctor prescribed some medicines for me. I wanted to come out of this mess.

Medication really helped me. Previously I could not sleep at night but now I was sleeping well. My fears subsided to an extent and I attempted to start living my normal life once again.



Financially I had nothing to support my family so that I can feel proud about myself. Feelings of worthlessness increased my depression.I felt I was useless. I found no hope.

I developed a whole range of depressive thinking, different fears, and anger.

I attempted suicide many times. I did not see any point in living. I had tried all ways to get rid of depression. Medicines,Yoga, Positive talk, Exercises.

Nothing brought any lasting solution. Staying positive did not help.Nothing worked.Absolutely.

Medicines did not cure my suicidal tendencies. I was fed up with my life. I did not want to live as a burden to others.

Happiness is costly by Titus Vargis


Deep down my heart I wanted to live and earn lots of money. It didn’t happen. No one saved me.



My mother was a praying woman. She kept on praying for my recovery. She prayed to Jesus. Her prayers brought my answers. My life began to change.

My plans of suicide did not work. I must say I am alive because of Jesus Christ.

It was all because of my Heavenly Father. He just would not let me commit suicide. All my plans to end my life could not succeed.

I must say it took a while for me to become normal. It’s been more than 10 years now. Since then I have never thought about suicide.



My life is no longer the same. I now from my experience can say that no medicines can cure suicidal tendencies. No surface level efforts either.

I believe one must have a paradigm shift. One can’t just get over these dangerous tendencies just by thinking or behaving the right way.

Suicide is deeply related to our Soul. It’s a sickness of the Soul.

Unless and until this soul sickness is dealt with, one just can’t overcome it.



One surely can overcome suicidal tendencies with the help of God. Jesus Christ is the answer. God alone can heal this sickness of the Soul.

When the Soul is healed, a person begins to think about living boldly no matter what.

I believe this experience will help a lot of others who go through suicidal tendencies.

Thank you very much for reading.I am glad you read it.

Best wishes,

© Titus Vargis

Hey ladies,this is the top complaint of men & listen you can incorporate these 11 things to resolve this.

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Relationships are awesome but need maintenance from your side too.

Hey Dear Women,

Let me straight forward come to my point. And please do listen to me. I am here for your care and benefits.
Would you please hear the number 1 complain of most Men?

Remember this and save your relationship forever :Your man is not a lifetime punching bag you bought from somewhere.

The number 1 Complaint Men have regarding women in Relationships is: abusive words spoken by women to express their true feelings while being upset.

Men must not raise their hands over a woman. Just like this, women should not Speak rudely against men no matter what.

God has made everyone equal. Men and Women. Both are equal. Yet both Should know what hurts others?

Women, unknowingly or knowingly hurt men by telling what shouldn’t be said at all.

Women need to know their words said in angry moments have equal potential to hurt their man.

Society does not care about what women do Or say. Well it hurts to the point of killing.

It seems that only Men can harm a
woman. Really?

Out of all the Relationships breakdown nearly 87% is due to this monumental error of women.



Women should know their words have a monumental impact.It’s not that words do not matter.

Perhaps, she should know that words
can literally kill like any poison.

Words literally kills. Majority of men who have suffered a Relationship break down very often complain that women have abused them emotionally.

Men say that they have been abused & blackmailed by their women.


Many many men have literally been killed by abusive women.

Emotional abuse by women is considered a lesser sin.

women think that it’s just raising their concerns to their men. But they forget that raising their concerns in an abusive way can harm others, including men.

They Should choose the words carefully.

If words are uttered without considering their partner it can sabotage their beautiful relationship.


Beauty is useless if the mouth is foul. Your man is not a heartless creature just to serve you.

He is not your dad or brother.
He is your equal life partner.

Who gave you authority to trample down your man?

Of course no one has that authority.

Do you think is this the way relationships work?

women, you need understand this: Just as raising hands by men is
violence not worthy of tolerance- in the same way uttering foul words is equal to violence.

Women should respect their men by words and deeds.



Most of the men complain that they have been abused verbally by their partners on a regular basis. No one even say that this is not just acceptable.



Creating an environment of fear by abusive words is a serious violence not tolerable.


Trust me, as a man, I can say that words hurt so much.Even kills.
Don’t excuse yourself by saying that I didn’t mean to hurt you.

Relationships are not meant to be taken for granted. Don’t act like a child.

You might say that I felt it that way & said that.

But No, you are not given permission to hurt others.

You must not utter words in the most fair way. What we say is important. How we say it is also very important.

PART B: 11 QUICK SOLUTIONS

Quick solutions by Titus Vargis

So, here are a few insights into how a woman can express their feelings without hurting men.

1) Before uttering some word, spend time alone. It’s fine to not act on the impulse. Good things take time. Too much hurry spoils a thing. You are right but don’t rush.

Don’t rush by Titus vargis.



2) Don’t speak in the heat of the moment. The number one mistake we make is speaking what we are feeling at the moment. Well, it’s not advisable. It can do more harm.

Silence is powerful often by Titus Vargis.



3)Take a blank sheet of paper and write down what feelings you are going through. Write everything you feel.

Write it down by Titus Vargis.



4) After writing, take a deep breath. Calm yourself completely. Try to be present at the moment. Relax. Do what makes you calm. Watch a movie,go for shopping, gardening etc.

Art of calm by Titus vargis.



5) Ask your man when he’s available to listen to you. Don’t be rude and demand that he urgently make arrangements to talk. Everything must be done in a fair way.

The man and the science behind by Titus Vargis.



6) Preferably, while discussing these choose a place free from family or children.



7) Once he assigns some time, wait for that. Don’t Complain if he can’t listen right when you want him to.



8) Once you meet, carefully share your concerns and feelings.

Take care by Titus vargis.



9) Keep your tone absolutely normal. Don’t say as if to hurt him. Let there be respect. Show fairness. Be kind in your tone. Don’t be rude or insensitive. This might spoil all efforts.



10) Once you have shared, tell him ‘Thank you for giving time’. Give respect and receive back hundred folds. Relationships are about little things. Remember that.

Understand the basic problem by Titus Vargis.



11) Understand that he needs enough time to process what you have said. Don’t expect him to resolve issues at the same time. Be mature enough to understand this.

I strongly believe that these things are very crucial in any relationship.

Relationships are not made in heaven but nourished by two mature adults who know to refrain from unfair practices.

Best wishes,

© Titus Vargis.

Hey,cheer up! Let me show how I overcame the dark times when my father passed away.

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Life is not a bed of Roses still lot of it depends on how we manage ourselves.



I really can not explain what the relationship I had with my daddy.
It was a relationship built in heaven.No one can come close to my dad.

My black days and years by Titus Vargis.


I lost him suddenly and it left me a world full of unknowns.
O my how would I move an inch without my earthly God? This was my constant thoughts.


I was afraid.I was willing to suicide even tried to jump into the river.But I think God did not allow it to happen.I was though absolute confident about suicide.
I hated life as a whole.


I came to the TRUE colors of my own.
The plasticity of our society.The wicked heart hiding beneath the sober men and women.


I had to learn to live again.It was hell.It was absolute unnecessary I thought.
So,how anyways I stood on my ground again?


1. My mother stood By me.If there was one solid ground that held me it was my mother.She carried me and came to rescue me.I didn’t see her going away when I needed her the most.

My mother was my Angel by Titus vargis.


2. My supreme help came from my heavenly Father. My God in whom I found refuge.To say the least,it was God who literally stood behind me.It was God who gave me boldness.When all else left me it was the presence of God that stood closer to me.This changed my life.

My Heavenly Father my Saviour by Titus Vargis.


3. My hobbies such as listening music and reading kept me away from serious depression. It was music that changed my mood altogether. Then books.
I survived because of reading the biographies of great men.I purposely read great men and their life stories.I knew if they can succeed I too can.

My hobbies were working by Titus Vargis.


4. My brother stood By me all through my dark times.He was there with me.He never left me.I didn’t feel I am lonely. I was supported By him.He financed me when I had no job.No money in my pocket.I truly thank God for him.

My brother my angel by Titus Vargis.


5. My mentors motivated me.I infact got my mentors through books.They were inspirational and a source of power to me.I felt I too can overcome any difficulties. This transformed my life.This gave me hope.This made me an overcomer.
I have survived all because of these.I could not live well when my dad passed away.
I felt it was impossible to live again.Yet I overcame those difficulties.

My mentors were great by Titus Vargis.


You too can overcome your mountains.


Keep trying. Never give up.Find some mentors.Find your own survival tactics.


Life is precious.Life is beautiful.

© Dr.Titus Vargis

10 things that kill your kid’s positivity and what can you do about it now?

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Better parenting by Titus vargis.

Kids are no less than divine. You can kill their positivity unknowingly.

Kids are very fragile and we should know how to handle them.

What kids go through in their life affect their future very much.

Most of the times parents are not careful about how they deal with their kids.

What parents do with their kids have immense impact on their kids. 

Better parenting by Titus Vargis.

Let’s examine what are those things which kill kid’s positivity: 

     01. Constant criticism is the number one poison which kills positivity. Parents who constantly criticise over small things can destroy kid’s self esteem.

    02. Making kids a slave and making them do things forcefully. Kids are slaves when they are required to follow instructions over every things they need to do.This can seriously harm them in their long run.They lose all sense of self worth. 

    03. Abusing kids in behaviour or words.Kids are not stones.They are human beings too.What we as adult feel they feel too. When we abuse them they start abusing themselves. 

    04. Loving kids based on their performance. Kids are often praised or punished as their performance. Kids are not machines.what you think is not possible for them all the times.

    05. Cruel words by parents or family can seriously hamper their positive growth.parents who discipline using harsh and cruel words can discourage their kids.They even can give up and become suicidal. 

    Be an awesome parents by Titus Vargis.

    06. Stop Over pampering. Kids need to be learning uneasy things too.Giving them too much of pampering can make them less confident. 

    07. Violence in any form can literally kill the positivity of your kids.When kids face violence in their homes they can start rebelling. 

    08. Giving them what they ask quickly can hamper their perceptions about reality of life.Kids need to learn that not all things can be obtained as they want.This is life and parents need to teach them.

    09. Taking decisions on behalf of kids can have a negative impact. Let kids take the responsibility and make their own decisions. Ofcourse you can guide them.

    10. Not listening to kids can have a negative impact. They might feel worthless and think that their opinions and matters dont value much.

    Better parenting by Titus vargis.

    PART 02. WHAT CAN YOU DO BETTER AS A PARENT?

    Now let’s see what parents can do to stop being negative to their kids: 

    A. Be careful how you deal with them.They need respect too just as much you do.

    B. Never use harsh words.

    C. Always praise for their small achievements.

    D. Love them more and criticise them less.

    E. Show your full support when they need it from you.Even when they are weak or failing.

    F. Let children know you are on their side.

    G. Stop correcting their behaviour all the time.

    They need freedom and space just as you do.

    Lets see that our kids remain strong as they grow with us.We need to  healthy and confident kids.That must be  the ultimate goal of any parents.

    ©Dr.Titus Verghese,

    (titusvargis.substack.com)

    What if tomorrow Russia might wipe out Ukraine?

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    Sing your song
    What if Russia
    Wipe our Ukraine
    While we sing
    Our favorite list.
    Sing your song
    Save those kids
    Apart from yours
    They might kill
    for a piece of bread!
    Sing your song
    shoe is yours
    legs are mine
    It’s hurting.
    Sing your song
    While we watch
    our daily soap
    and favorite
    football team,
    Russia might
    destroy whole
    bunch of innocent
    cities!
    Stop your songs
    look the devastation
    Arise for the kids
    apart from your’s
    Lest they take
    the guns and
    get license to
    Kill.
    ©Titus Vargis
    divinemedia111@gmail.com

    Hey! We might me so good but still we can unknowingly stand with the criminals!

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    The day we are silent is the day we are wrong in most cases.

    The underlying problem of US by Titus Vargis.

    “When We Keep Quiet” what really can go wrong?

    “When we choose to remain silent on the violence and injustice that is done to the vulnerable, we are indirectly supporting that crime.”


    How often we blame government, presidents,religion or society for the violence and cruelties.


    We blame everyone and we know what we are doing.
    We are 100% sure of our views.
    We seem like little gods on earth.We claim to know all the answers.


    But do we realise that part of the existing problems around us is us?
    Yes,you heard it right.

    We may not be violent,cruel,corrupt,greedy or a thief yet we can be committing serious crimes or promoting them.


    How? By remaining silent.Silent when women are mistreated, children are abused,corruption happening right in front of our eyes,human rights getting violated,cruelty happening all around us.
    Well,when we choose to remain silent we take sides with the person who is committing the crime.


    Lets be loud! Lets speak up! Lets stand up for the ones who cannot for themselves.


    I believe when we do our part,world will surely be a better place to live in.
    If you liked my post,please take time to let me know.
    Thank you for giving me your valuable time.

    ©Titus Vargis.

    Authentic Love and Relationship: How does it look like?

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    There are few real signs to identify the authenticity of love and relationship.

    The signs of true Love by Titus Vargis.


    Love is the most misunderstood word on the planet.I think the most most commonly used word in the world would be LOVE. I strongly believe another set of words that are mostly used would be I, We, Us and Me.


    What is the conclusion I make from these?
    Word ‘Love’ is commonly used when we are not literally meaning it.

    We use it to mean that we like something, or someone based on our likes and biases.

    Not necessarily that others are in our hearts or we are deeply moved by the other.

    You see, we are the most selfish generation of the history of mankind.
    Look at the news or any groups or any so called unselfish people groups who are selflessly doing to mankind much favors.


    First of all, why is that these groups or people promote themselves when they are utterly selfless?! It’s a joke!

    Who in the world is selfless and selfish at the same time?! It’s absurd!


    Well, we live in a time such as this. For us LOVE is equal to SELF. Our motives are clear. We will use any opportunity to gain other’s attention and gains.


    We can even use the words such as LOVE or SELFLESS acts of kindness. While the reality is totally different.
    We fool others and we are deeply perfect in this.

    Our schools or colleges teach us and train us to be utterly selfish and put others down at any cost in the name of the so called SUCCESS.

    What is the conclusion regarding the love we see around. LOVE of ours is superficial and plastic. It fools others. It is used to gain something.

    It is utterly selfish and lacks genuineness. Why is it that we kill each other in the name of religion? Why the educated masses are easily swayed away by fanaticism?!

    Why we say we are civilized and at the same time we are totally corrupt and not willing to sacrifice for the sake of others?


    Love is kind, selfless, sacrifice, forgiving, bearing one another in weaknesses ,and laying down our own Demonic pride.

    Love and the ways to identify the authenticity of love by Titus Vargis.

    Let me share few significant characteristics of such authentic Love and Relationship,


    1.True love is coming out of self. It’s all about others and not us.


    2.It’s concerned more about not my bread or my money but about other’s hunger and sufferings.


    3.It’s about giving,giving and utterly giving.


    4.It’s about making a mark in the lives of those who cannot repay us back by any means.


    5.It’s about our forgiving when grace is not possible.


    6.It’s about showing mercy to the offender the tenth or eleventh time.


    7.It’s about not scoring but about getting unnoticed.


    8.It’s not about marketing or getting famous but making the lives of the other much more better than before.Its simple and profound.

    Let’s decode the thing called Love by Titus Vargis.

    ©Titus vargis,

    titusvargis.substack.com