Why is communication in a relationship important?

Why Is Communication In A Relationship Important? We are a social being. We need communication. Unless as a couple, we develop in the area of communication we will fail terribly. The most important thing in a relationship is to communicate with each other daily. We might be good in all other areas, but if we … Read more

what to do when your relationship is at breaking point?

When life throws a lemon,don’t get bitter but act smart for your own sake.

Life cycle by Titus Vargis.

There are times in our life and relationship that wreck us to the core. What we do about it decides where we end up?

My own life experiences has wrecked me many times. I was almost broke to the point of giving up my life.

No one in my life took interest in my life but escalated my pain.

I had to take decision. I was determined not to give up any more.

Life became my teacher. I tried all my resources and friends to find out what must be done to get out of this narrow place.

Here are few crucial steps that we can take when our relationship is at the breaking point.

Let me start,

1. Take full responsibility if you’re at fault

One important thing is to not act like children. You must be authentic. You need to take full responsibility if you know you are at fault.


2. Extend compassion and care to the person you hurt

Be human. Be compassionate. Learn to extend compassion. You get what you give.

3. Give your partner the opportunity to win your trust back



4. Practice radical transparency

Be absolutely transparent. Don’t play games. Be serious enough. You can’t destroy what you built for many years.



5. Consult with a professional



6. Don’t let your world revolve around your partner



7. Learn to compromise

Life is not always mathematics. Life requires compromises. You can’t be a god on earth. You need to accommodate the other.



8. Spend time with friends outside of your relationship.

Don’t put all eggs in one basket.



9. Engage in affectionate physical contact



10. Use skilled communication

Be careful how you communicate. You might be hurting the other person by the way you talk.



11. Speak from your heart

Listen to your heart. Speak from your heart.



12. Actively listen

Practice listening. Relationships require active listening. Unless we listen,we do a one man show.



13. Healthy conflict resolution strategies

You must find conflict resolution strategies. For that you must learn from the experts. You must do it.



14. Get to the root cause

Find out the root causes of your chaos.



15. Follow your gut feelings

Your gut knows what is best for you.

7 things I hate in my relationship and they frustrate me : what women should not do in a relationship?

Life gets more better as one puts more love.

Giving up is easy but never give up
Not giving up by any means



There are many reasons for my frustrations in life.



They really are numerous but some of them are more recurring.

Let me share a few of them.

I believe these things will help women to realize what frustrates a man in a relationship.

1. Feelings overtaking the sensibility.

2. Inability to understand what makes me angry.

3. Always expecting me to understand her but not taking efforts to understand me.

4. Lack of gratitude

5. Complaining always.

6. Criticizing my character when it should have been my wrong behavior.

7.Childish behavior.

Love and Relationship by Titus Vargis.

Why relationship end? The ultimate guide.

There are no stars to guide us except our own maturity.

No fault in our stars by Titus Vargis.

There are many reasons for relationship ending.

Life is painful often but it has to be dealt with wisely.

No relationship is perfect unless we decide that it’s our responsibility to make it happen.

We are what we choose to do. No one can do it all for us. Not even gods.

Why should we not be more mature enough to act like grown up s?


Some of the reasons for relationship failures are,


1. Lack of maturity

Let’s face it, relationship break because of our lack of maturity. We act like we are entitled to what we want at our time. This breaks our relationship.


2. Bad attitude

A bad attitude not only hinders our life but also our relationship.


3. Wrong upbringing

Very often our upbringing determines how we behave with our spouse. It takes hard work and dedication to unlearn wrong things from our behaviour.


4. Feeling of superiority

Very often we act as if we are superior to others. This kills our relationship.


5. Foul language

Saying right things in a wrong way is still wrong.


6. Constant interrogation

If we keep on interrogate our partner it will harm our relationship.


7. Lack of gratitude

This is all about keeping on demanding but not being thankful for good things done by our partner.


8. No place for respect

A relationship without proper respect is a graveyard.


9. Constant comparison

Regular comparison of your spouse with others is a true poison for any relationship.


10. Lack of empathy

Having no empathy is a sure way to kill the relationship.


11. Narcissistic behaviour

Narcissists never achieve anything in life. They are always killing others for their own selfish goals and objectives.

© Titus Vargis

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

How to love a man deeply? 16 ways to impact him for sure.

Never ignore the essential mechanism of your man.

Know deeply your man by Titus Vargis.

There are different love language of men. While women loves to hear ‘I love you’ it’s different for any man.

Let’s quickly find out 16 essential ways to love deeply your man,

1. Walk the talk

Men want to see you love him in your actions.


2. Never ignore him in front of people


3. The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach

Ask him what he loves to eat and give him often.


4. Appreciate his efforts

Love your man by Titus Vargis


5. Look for things that he does so well.


6. Notice him when he excels.


7. Take his advice and guidance.

Before acting on any decisions,make sure to take his opinion.


8. Listen to him.

Listen with your eyes and ears.


9. Make him feel good about himself.M

Make him feel good by your loving words.


10. Show your love using his love language.

Use his love language rather than yours. This will make him feel loved.


11. Stand with him in disappointment.


12. Accept him for who he is.

Never try to compare him with anyone.

Let him be loved as he is. Let him know you love him as he is already.

The message of love by Titus Vargis.


13. Address your complaints respectfully.

Take time and relax. When you are calm and in a good mood discuss your concerns.


14. Ask him for major decision making.

Let him know you value his opinions.


15. Respect his boundaries.


16. Don’t question his silence and alone time.

Understand that it’s imperative for a man to take alone times in order to rethink and rewind himself.

Easier to love by knowledge by Titus Vargis

What does it take to win your love for me?

What does it take to win your love for me? Asking the most crucial question of our relationship.

The main thing is this
The essential things in a relationship

Did you know what breaks relationships very often?

Let me tell you. It is not incompatibility. It’s not behavior. It’s not looks. Not perfection.

It’s simply this: asking your partner each day what does it take to win your love for me today?

Unfortunately,this crucial question is usually asked at the beginning of our relationship.

Later,unknowingly we overlook it. This is the biggest mistake we all make.We begin to undermine the person’s changing nature.

You see,we are evolving with time. Each of us are changing.The person I was ten days or ten years ago is not the same.Even after 10 days I will not remain the same.

We are constantly changing.
It’s said that you can’t step into a river twice.What does that imply?

It implies that our needs keep on changing as time passes by.Today we need something different from yesterday.

What we need today is not what we needed earlier.

Each day we need to ask our partners what their present needs or expectations are.

Once we know that we are better at providing the partner what he or she needs.

Unless we ask this on a regular basis we will be assuming the needs of our partners.Thereby we won’t receive the appreciation that we are looking for.

Moreover we won’t be satisfying our partners by providing that they don’t really need at this moment.

There are different ways to ask this question,like

what is it that you are expecting from me today?

Or what is it that you want me to do for you today?

What necessary things I need to do for you that will meet your needs today?

There is power in this approach.

Let me tell you briefly why asking this question matters,

First of all it gives your partner a sense of significance.

Second, it implies that you are genuinely interested in helping the partner.

Thirdly,it makes it easier for you to find out what can be done now that can improve the life of your partner without hurting him or her.

We are meant to satisfy the person we are interacting with. The more we make others happy the more our relationships get better.

But how can we make others happy unless we ask them what they need?

It’s also significant to note that here your attitude matters most. Words must correlate with genuine attitude.

Once we are getting used to asking this question we will find that we are better at providing what our partner is expecting from us.

It’s not through assumptions that we get success in life or relationships.

But through deliberate efforts and sincerity.
Best wishes,
©Titus Vargis

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

5 important things as a man I wish I got from my relationship!!

Understanding the heart of a man is essential to meet his real needs.

The essential expectations by Titus Vargis.

Understanding the basics of any good relationship is not easy.

You have to let go of your own idea and ask the other person.

It is the foundation on which any great relationship is being built.

Let me share a few significant needs as a man in my relationship,

01. First Love


This is the thing that moves us. As men we look for that. We want our partners to have that same old spark. We can sense it. We yearn for that. Too often,it is missing.

02. A sense of wonder

As men,we look for a sense of wonder. We want to see that we are still heroes as we were at first sight. How often,we don’t get that. We love to see that we are still the number one in our relationships.

03. Not taken for granted

As men we don’t look for many bigger things. Basically we look for our worth. Are we still worthy or are we taken for granted? Well,we can sense it very easily that we are valued or taken for granted. We love to outperform ourselves but first we want to know that we are valued in our relationships.

04. A sense of gratitude

We look for gratitude. Gratitude in the sense of behavior or attitude. When men are given sufficient gratitude we would like to outperform ourselves. It’s the magic that propels us.

05. Understanding our silence

As men we are not always like women. We go into solitude. We go there to think and plan our lives. We don’t want to be misunderstood. When women respect our solitude we usually are ready to give what we are expected to.

©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

Most crucial facts about your life and relationship

There are no shortcuts to fulfilling life.

We are a postmodern generation. We have all the comforts which the previous generation did not have.

The basics of life by Titus Vargis

We are a generation of no scarcity. 

Everything is available for us at the time we want it. The downside of this abundance is our lack of thinking about others. We seldom think about giving,but getting.

Times we live in by Titus Vargis

As a matter of fact we are the most selfish generation of all time.

It’s difficult for us to understand that giving is the only way for getting things in life.

What are the implementations of this? Let me share some important aspects which will bring drastic transformation in our relationships,

01. We get what we give. Let’s get it right.We get respect by first giving respect. Respect is not demanded. We must learn to give respect to our partner no matter what.

BEGIN THE ADVENTURE WITH US.
Heavenly relationships by Titus Vargis

02. Love is not a product that we can get by money,or power. Love is not dependent on our education or status. We must first give love in order to get it.

03. Just as accidents on roads are part of driving on the road, mistakes are part of being human It’s hard to expect perfection from a being that is bound to make mistakes because we are not robots. Accept mistakes as mistakes. Treat it like an accident. No one drives just to get into any accident. It happens. Unless we treat weakness as an integral part of our existence we would kill each other and harbor grudges.

04. In life 5 plus 5 is not always 10. What I mean is that you cannot expect people to act logically each time. We are also emotional beings. We do things sometimes out of our feelings of fear or anger. We may go wrong sometimes. It happens. Understand that life is not predictable. Things go wrong in spite of our careful calculations.

The game of life by Titus Vargis

05. Every day is a golden opportunity to do something different. No one is chained to act as if life is meaningless. Why not try a different approach? Why not try talking in a fair way? Why not make some other plans if plan A has gone wrong? Life is an adventure. Why don’t we change the patterns that make our relationship dull or boring? 

©Titus Vargis.

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

Understanding narcissistic females and 3 very easy ways to deal with them.

You don’t have to be a victim anymore,take control of your life now.

You are not the victim anymore by Titus Vargis.

The fault in our relationship by Titus Vargis


There is a huge rise in abusive females in our world.
It’s not reported by most men out of shame.

Our Society likes to think it’s the female who’s always the weak,so the equation goes like this:

Abusive relationships = men at fault.

The reason behind this equation is that men are stronger than women.

This is the most fallacious misconception. It’s not the truth.
In Fact this is the real culprit. The real cause of marital breakdown.


In any case of reporting to the police,there is bias at work in the system.The police just ignore men and never listen to what men want to say.


Most of the time it won’t be accepted by society that any woman can abuse a man.


This is gross inhuman practice that’s prevalent in many so called developed countries.

Let me put in following points in order to explore these personality:

1) Consider the ads and movies, where it’s common to see women belittling men, even many men are projected there as stupid, foolish.

2) Society, especially narcissistic ones, are training girls and women to abuse men in their lives be it indirectly. The so-called feminist movements add fuel to it.

3) Society as a whole is narrating a different mode of conduct with regards to men.
It’s brainwashing to the point of hating men no matter what.

4) Narcissistic women teach others to refuse to respect any boundaries set by society and men.

There must be a way by Titus Vargis



5) Narcissists play the victim card.
Of course they cry,scream and create drama. They know very well how to influence people a lot so that they will believe in their account.

6) Narcissistic women can’t take any form of constructive feedback.

7) Narcissists lack empathy.
They have no feelings for men! They love a little and hate you at the same time.

8) Narcissists withhold sex to punish men.

9) Narcissists are materialistic.
They will say things like,
you take me out, you give me what I want when I want it.


10.Narcissistic values men based on his financial capabilities.

The blackmail by Titus Vargis




PART B.HOW TO MANAGE A NARCISSISTIC PARTNER?

1.Don’t take the bait.

They are irrational, far from reality. Whatever comes from them is not rational.
Completely ignore them. when they want you to react,just leave the room.

2. When they start to play with your feelings just tell them,

“You are right with your emotions just as I am.”

3.They struggle with their internal chaos and their life shows just the same.
Don’t allow them to dictate your life. Take control of your life.

© Titus Vargis

Authentic Love and Relationship: How does it look like?

There are few real signs to identify the authenticity of love and relationship.

The signs of true Love by Titus Vargis.


Love is the most misunderstood word on the planet.I think the most most commonly used word in the world would be LOVE. I strongly believe another set of words that are mostly used would be I, We, Us and Me.


What is the conclusion I make from these?
Word ‘Love’ is commonly used when we are not literally meaning it.

We use it to mean that we like something, or someone based on our likes and biases.

Not necessarily that others are in our hearts or we are deeply moved by the other.

You see, we are the most selfish generation of the history of mankind.
Look at the news or any groups or any so called unselfish people groups who are selflessly doing to mankind much favors.


First of all, why is that these groups or people promote themselves when they are utterly selfless?! It’s a joke!

Who in the world is selfless and selfish at the same time?! It’s absurd!


Well, we live in a time such as this. For us LOVE is equal to SELF. Our motives are clear. We will use any opportunity to gain other’s attention and gains.


We can even use the words such as LOVE or SELFLESS acts of kindness. While the reality is totally different.
We fool others and we are deeply perfect in this.

Our schools or colleges teach us and train us to be utterly selfish and put others down at any cost in the name of the so called SUCCESS.

What is the conclusion regarding the love we see around. LOVE of ours is superficial and plastic. It fools others. It is used to gain something.

It is utterly selfish and lacks genuineness. Why is it that we kill each other in the name of religion? Why the educated masses are easily swayed away by fanaticism?!

Why we say we are civilized and at the same time we are totally corrupt and not willing to sacrifice for the sake of others?


Love is kind, selfless, sacrifice, forgiving, bearing one another in weaknesses ,and laying down our own Demonic pride.

Love and the ways to identify the authenticity of love by Titus Vargis.

Let me share few significant characteristics of such authentic Love and Relationship,


1.True love is coming out of self. It’s all about others and not us.


2.It’s concerned more about not my bread or my money but about other’s hunger and sufferings.


3.It’s about giving,giving and utterly giving.


4.It’s about making a mark in the lives of those who cannot repay us back by any means.


5.It’s about our forgiving when grace is not possible.


6.It’s about showing mercy to the offender the tenth or eleventh time.


7.It’s about not scoring but about getting unnoticed.


8.It’s not about marketing or getting famous but making the lives of the other much more better than before.Its simple and profound.

Let’s decode the thing called Love by Titus Vargis.

©Titus vargis,

titusvargis.substack.com

10 examples of how your partner may be gaslighting you in a relationship.

The truth of the problem and the ways to deal with it.

The underlying causes

https://www.hindustantimes.com/lifestyle/relationships/10-examples-of-how-your-partner-may-be-gaslighting-you-in-a-relationship-101690100216000.html

ARE YOU GOING THROUGH TOUGH TIMES,HERE ARE SOME GREAT NEWS JUST FOR YOU.

Hey don’t be giving up when things are going against you.

Tough times are not for ever.

Here are some wisdom and inspiration for you as you might be facing rough times in your life or relationship.

1. If you accept tough times are part of the seasons of life, it will keep you from sinking into depression.



2. Maintain a healthy perspective. Going through tough times doesn’t mean you are not blessed, you are actually being prepared for something great. Preparation is often not easy but it is the foundation of better things to come.



3. Tough times will reveal to you your true friends and expose the fake ones.



4. Tough times will introduce to you real friends who are attracted to your purpose.



5. The best ideas tend to be conceptualized in tough times.



6. Sometimes God allows you to go through tough times to wake you up and get your attention especially when you have become too familiar with Him.



7. Sometimes you have to reach a dead end where no one but God can help you, so that no one but God can receive the glory.



8. Great people have learnt the art of converting tough times into a path to being a master of something.



9. There are some lessons that tough times will teach you that good times can’t.



10. Tough times will open your eyes to see opportunities and doors that complacent you did not.



11. Some of us lack the courage to move past our current level and lack the initiative to take the next step on our own, tough times will catapult you to the next stage of your life that you are afraid to take.



12. Tough times will make you naked so that you see yourself for who you truly are. Tough times will force you to be real with yourself, what are you really made of? Because when you are going through tough times, there is no one to impress, you have to be you.



13. Most couples enter their best season after they reach rock bottom. That is when their true love is tested and they emerge stronger together.

May you find strength and wisdom to face your rough times,and may you rise up stronger than ever.

Best wishes.

5 things I hate in my partner and everyone should avoid these in a Relationship.

There can be no sorry for some issues in any relationship.

There is no excuse my dear by Titus Vargis

5 things I hate in my marriage, and these can happen in any relationship.

Well,they must be avoided at any cost to save your relationship.


01. When I don’t receive back what I give. I always try my best to give love,care, and forgiveness to my partner. Even respect when I feel I have been mistreated.


02. When I don’t feel that my partner keeps the secrets about me. This frustrates me.


03. When I find that in matters of money I cannot ask my partner about my needs.when I get answers like it’s my money,why didn’t you keep your money? This turns me off. I strongly believe that as a partner one should help each other in all ways possible.


04. When I am not consulted regarding some major issues. It can be buying any stuffs or taking a big decision. As a partner one should always first ask one’s partner about their suggestions.


05. When I am ridiculed in front of others and my partner too joins them. This hurts me the most.

©Titus Vargis,PhD

7 relationship secrets that one must know to have a lasting Relationship.

Well,most of the Relationship coach wont tell you this.

The love that stands on the Rock by Titus Vargis.

How can a Relationship coach help when one is in crisis and the partner is indifferent? 

Relationships are not easy as it appears. It’s not like 2 plus 2 equals 4.

It’s really complicated. Sometimes one partner is serious and the other one is just passing time.

What can we do in such a situation? 

There are very good people around who can help you. 

But in order to get lasting solutions one must not forget these relationship principles,

  1. Relationship is a marathon. Its not a short race.One must understand this.
  2. Both the partners must be mature enough to make changes in themselves. No one is perfect here. 
  3. If one partner thinks that he or she is perfect then that relationship won’t last long. It’s so simple. 
  4. Relationships are not one night stands. It’s neither romance nor a joy ride. It’s much larger than that.
  5. We begin with love but we go forward with commitment and lots of sacrifice.
  6. Relationships are not for kids or immature people. It’s not for sex or time pass. 
  7. Relationships are not measured by looks or money but by transparency and sincerity. Looks can backfire.