The power of a more sensible approach towards others even when you don’t want to help others.
Read this story from Titus Vargis,PhD on Medium: https://titusvargis.medium.com/are-you-asking-the-right-questions-to-others-alert-doing-so-can-forever-change-their-destiny-b9a154ee1de7
Life is hard sometimes and you can’t lose your precious life but how?
How my Suicidal tendencies went Away?
It’s not easy. It’s monumental.
It’s not a sickness that you take a pill and it goes away.
Let me come to the point,to say it in short.
First things first,
1. Suicidal thoughts are born out of long term sufferings of stress & harsh realities of life.
2. It’s not possible to get out of it by forcing one’s thoughts alone. No one can get out of it like that. It is ridiculous!
No,it does not work that way. You are Outrightly wrong. It’s not a physical sickness just like cough and cold.
3.Suicidal tendencies are out of one’s control. Understand this. No one wants to live like that.It’s a living hell. One can’t escape by himself.
4. Suicidal thoughts can develop over a period of time while being in total failure, death of a loved one, terrible loss in life or business,terminal sickness & sufferings.
5. The person who is affected by it already has done everything to come out of it but he’s helpless. This is the number one truth. He is really really helpless,and that’s the reason he’s thinking of ending his life.
Now,let me share my experience:
Suicidal thoughts were not in me until my father was alive. But once he had passed away I went into a stage of utter despondency.
I was the eldest son and I had a younger brother. We were still studying in schools. My mother had no job. Financially we were struggling.
During this period,I developed abnormal fears, including fear of people,fear of open spaces.
This created total imbalance in our family. This deeply affected my wellbeing.
As an eldest Son, I had the responsibility to look after my mother and brother.
Here I was in utter darkness & I felt I was not living upto my family’s expectations. I was unable to stay normal and earn a living.
I developed serious depression & went to consult the doctor. Doctor prescribed some medicines for me. I wanted to come out of this mess.
Medication really helped me. Previously I could not sleep at night but now I was sleeping well. My fears subsided to an extent and I attempted to start living my normal life once again.
Financially I had nothing to support my family so that I can feel proud about myself. Feelings of worthlessness increased my depression.I felt I was useless. I found no hope.
I developed a whole range of depressive thinking, different fears, and anger.
I attempted suicide many times. I did not see any point in living. I had tried all ways to get rid of depression. Medicines,Yoga, Positive talk, Exercises.
Nothing brought any lasting solution. Staying positive did not help.Nothing worked.Absolutely.
Medicines did not cure my suicidal tendencies. I was fed up with my life. I did not want to live as a burden to others.
Deep down my heart I wanted to live and earn lots of money. It didn’t happen. No one saved me.
My mother was a praying woman. She kept on praying for my recovery. She prayed to Jesus. Her prayers brought my answers. My life began to change.
My plans of suicide did not work. I must say I am alive because of Jesus Christ.
It was all because of my Heavenly Father. He just would not let me commit suicide. All my plans to end my life could not succeed.
I must say it took a while for me to become normal. It’s been more than 10 years now. Since then I have never thought about suicide.
My life is no longer the same. I now from my experience can say that no medicines can cure suicidal tendencies. No surface level efforts either.
I believe one must have a paradigm shift. One can’t just get over these dangerous tendencies just by thinking or behaving the right way.
Suicide is deeply related to our Soul. It’s a sickness of the Soul.
Unless and until this soul sickness is dealt with, one just can’t overcome it.
One surely can overcome suicidal tendencies with the help of God. Jesus Christ is the answer. God alone can heal this sickness of the Soul.
When the Soul is healed, a person begins to think about living boldly no matter what.
I believe this experience will help a lot of others who go through suicidal tendencies.
Thank you very much for reading.I am glad you read it.
© Titus Vargis
Relationships are awesome but need maintenance from your side too.
Hey Dear Women,
Let me straight forward come to my point. And please do listen to me. I am here for your care and benefits.
Would you please hear the number 1 complain of most Men?
Remember this and save your relationship forever :Your man is not a lifetime punching bag you bought from somewhere.
The number 1 Complaint Men have regarding women in Relationships is: abusive words spoken by women to express their true feelings while being upset.
Men must not raise their hands over a woman. Just like this, women should not Speak rudely against men no matter what.
God has made everyone equal. Men and Women. Both are equal. Yet both Should know what hurts others?
Women, unknowingly or knowingly hurt men by telling what shouldn’t be said at all.
Women need to know their words said in angry moments have equal potential to hurt their man.
Society does not care about what women do Or say. Well it hurts to the point of killing.
It seems that only Men can harm a
Out of all the Relationships breakdown nearly 87% is due to this monumental error of women.
Women should know their words have a monumental impact.It’s not that words do not matter.
Perhaps, she should know that words
can literally kill like any poison.
Words literally kills. Majority of men who have suffered a Relationship break down very often complain that women have abused them emotionally.
Men say that they have been abused & blackmailed by their women.
Many many men have literally been killed by abusive women.
Emotional abuse by women is considered a lesser sin.
women think that it’s just raising their concerns to their men. But they forget that raising their concerns in an abusive way can harm others, including men.
They Should choose the words carefully.
If words are uttered without considering their partner it can sabotage their beautiful relationship.
Beauty is useless if the mouth is foul. Your man is not a heartless creature just to serve you.
He is not your dad or brother.
He is your equal life partner.
Who gave you authority to trample down your man?
Of course no one has that authority.
Do you think is this the way relationships work?
women, you need understand this: Just as raising hands by men is
violence not worthy of tolerance- in the same way uttering foul words is equal to violence.
Women should respect their men by words and deeds.
Most of the men complain that they have been abused verbally by their partners on a regular basis. No one even say that this is not just acceptable.
Creating an environment of fear by abusive words is a serious violence not tolerable.
Trust me, as a man, I can say that words hurt so much.Even kills.
Don’t excuse yourself by saying that I didn’t mean to hurt you.
Relationships are not meant to be taken for granted. Don’t act like a child.
You might say that I felt it that way & said that.
But No, you are not given permission to hurt others.
You must not utter words in the most fair way. What we say is important. How we say it is also very important.
PART B: 11 QUICK SOLUTIONS
So, here are a few insights into how a woman can express their feelings without hurting men.
1) Before uttering some word, spend time alone. It’s fine to not act on the impulse. Good things take time. Too much hurry spoils a thing. You are right but don’t rush.
2) Don’t speak in the heat of the moment. The number one mistake we make is speaking what we are feeling at the moment. Well, it’s not advisable. It can do more harm.
3)Take a blank sheet of paper and write down what feelings you are going through. Write everything you feel.
4) After writing, take a deep breath. Calm yourself completely. Try to be present at the moment. Relax. Do what makes you calm. Watch a movie,go for shopping, gardening etc.
5) Ask your man when he’s available to listen to you. Don’t be rude and demand that he urgently make arrangements to talk. Everything must be done in a fair way.
6) Preferably, while discussing these choose a place free from family or children.
7) Once he assigns some time, wait for that. Don’t Complain if he can’t listen right when you want him to.
8) Once you meet, carefully share your concerns and feelings.
9) Keep your tone absolutely normal. Don’t say as if to hurt him. Let there be respect. Show fairness. Be kind in your tone. Don’t be rude or insensitive. This might spoil all efforts.
10) Once you have shared, tell him ‘Thank you for giving time’. Give respect and receive back hundred folds. Relationships are about little things. Remember that.
11) Understand that he needs enough time to process what you have said. Don’t expect him to resolve issues at the same time. Be mature enough to understand this.
I strongly believe that these things are very crucial in any relationship.
Relationships are not made in heaven but nourished by two mature adults who know to refrain from unfair practices.
© Titus Vargis.
Life is not a bed of Roses still lot of it depends on how we manage ourselves.
I really can not explain what the relationship I had with my daddy.
It was a relationship built in heaven.No one can come close to my dad.
I lost him suddenly and it left me a world full of unknowns.
O my how would I move an inch without my earthly God? This was my constant thoughts.
I was afraid.I was willing to suicide even tried to jump into the river.But I think God did not allow it to happen.I was though absolute confident about suicide.
I hated life as a whole.
I came to the TRUE colors of my own.
The plasticity of our society.The wicked heart hiding beneath the sober men and women.
I had to learn to live again.It was hell.It was absolute unnecessary I thought.
So,how anyways I stood on my ground again?
1. My mother stood By me.If there was one solid ground that held me it was my mother.She carried me and came to rescue me.I didn’t see her going away when I needed her the most.
2. My supreme help came from my heavenly Father. My God in whom I found refuge.To say the least,it was God who literally stood behind me.It was God who gave me boldness.When all else left me it was the presence of God that stood closer to me.This changed my life.
3. My hobbies such as listening music and reading kept me away from serious depression. It was music that changed my mood altogether. Then books.
I survived because of reading the biographies of great men.I purposely read great men and their life stories.I knew if they can succeed I too can.
4. My brother stood By me all through my dark times.He was there with me.He never left me.I didn’t feel I am lonely. I was supported By him.He financed me when I had no job.No money in my pocket.I truly thank God for him.
5. My mentors motivated me.I infact got my mentors through books.They were inspirational and a source of power to me.I felt I too can overcome any difficulties. This transformed my life.This gave me hope.This made me an overcomer.
I have survived all because of these.I could not live well when my dad passed away.
I felt it was impossible to live again.Yet I overcame those difficulties.
You too can overcome your mountains.
Keep trying. Never give up.Find some mentors.Find your own survival tactics.
Life is precious.Life is beautiful.
© Dr.Titus Vargis
Kids are no less than divine. You can kill their positivity unknowingly.
Kids are very fragile and we should know how to handle them.
What kids go through in their life affect their future very much.
Most of the times parents are not careful about how they deal with their kids.
What parents do with their kids have immense impact on their kids.
Let’s examine what are those things which kill kid’s positivity:
01. Constant criticism is the number one poison which kills positivity. Parents who constantly criticise over small things can destroy kid’s self esteem.
02. Making kids a slave and making them do things forcefully. Kids are slaves when they are required to follow instructions over every things they need to do.This can seriously harm them in their long run.They lose all sense of self worth.
03. Abusing kids in behaviour or words.Kids are not stones.They are human beings too.What we as adult feel they feel too. When we abuse them they start abusing themselves.
04. Loving kids based on their performance. Kids are often praised or punished as their performance. Kids are not machines.what you think is not possible for them all the times.
05. Cruel words by parents or family can seriously hamper their positive growth.parents who discipline using harsh and cruel words can discourage their kids.They even can give up and become suicidal.
06. Stop Over pampering. Kids need to be learning uneasy things too.Giving them too much of pampering can make them less confident.
07. Violence in any form can literally kill the positivity of your kids.When kids face violence in their homes they can start rebelling.
08. Giving them what they ask quickly can hamper their perceptions about reality of life.Kids need to learn that not all things can be obtained as they want.This is life and parents need to teach them.
09. Taking decisions on behalf of kids can have a negative impact. Let kids take the responsibility and make their own decisions. Ofcourse you can guide them.
10. Not listening to kids can have a negative impact. They might feel worthless and think that their opinions and matters dont value much.
PART 02. WHAT CAN YOU DO BETTER AS A PARENT?
Now let’s see what parents can do to stop being negative to their kids:
A. Be careful how you deal with them.They need respect too just as much you do.
B. Never use harsh words.
C. Always praise for their small achievements.
D. Love them more and criticise them less.
E. Show your full support when they need it from you.Even when they are weak or failing.
F. Let children know you are on their side.
G. Stop correcting their behaviour all the time.
They need freedom and space just as you do.
Lets see that our kids remain strong as they grow with us.We need to healthy and confident kids.That must be the ultimate goal of any parents.
Sing your song
What if Russia
Wipe our Ukraine
While we sing
Our favorite list.
Sing your song
Save those kids
Apart from yours
They might kill
for a piece of bread!
Sing your song
shoe is yours
legs are mine
Sing your song
While we watch
our daily soap
bunch of innocent
Stop your songs
look the devastation
Arise for the kids
apart from your’s
Lest they take
the guns and
get license to
The day we are silent is the day we are wrong in most cases.
“When We Keep Quiet” what really can go wrong?
“When we choose to remain silent on the violence and injustice that is done to the vulnerable, we are indirectly supporting that crime.”
How often we blame government, presidents,religion or society for the violence and cruelties.
We blame everyone and we know what we are doing.
We are 100% sure of our views.
We seem like little gods on earth.We claim to know all the answers.
But do we realise that part of the existing problems around us is us?
Yes,you heard it right.
We may not be violent,cruel,corrupt,greedy or a thief yet we can be committing serious crimes or promoting them.
How? By remaining silent.Silent when women are mistreated, children are abused,corruption happening right in front of our eyes,human rights getting violated,cruelty happening all around us.
Well,when we choose to remain silent we take sides with the person who is committing the crime.
Lets be loud! Lets speak up! Lets stand up for the ones who cannot for themselves.
I believe when we do our part,world will surely be a better place to live in.
If you liked my post,please take time to let me know.
Thank you for giving me your valuable time.