My confessions: I care about others but I am weak. The paradox of weakness.

Why I am strong even in my weaknesses
I am weak but strong

I get hurt easily. Don’t know why. I am caring for others.

Yet I wonder about how easily I get hurt. Especially from my close ones.

I am not selfish. I care about my relationship.

I put my whole being into my children. I put my love.

I never listen to even myself when I get a chance to help my relationship.

Still I get touchy very often.
I am not that vocal about my pain.
I am not easily expressive.

I am keeping my feelings to myself.
I am like that.

But I wonder why I am not that strong.
I am weak frankly. And that’s the reason I care.

That’s why I love my relationship even to the point of being exhausted.

I am weak, that’s why I know what it is to get hurt,what it’s to be unloving.

I have seen enough wrecked people. I have seen people so wicked who don’t care about you.

I have seen getting abused. I have heard painful and hurting abusive language spoken against me.

I have seen my father passed even in my younger days.
I have seen poverty. I have seen people hurting you purposely.

I have seen people who left me when I was vulnerable.
Still I did not stop caring. Especially my relationship.

Frankly speaking,I have not received what I give to others. Others don’t always reciprocate.
This hurts me.

I expect others to see my hurt. I expect them not to say that it breaks my heart.
It seems that they don’t care that much.

Hey,still I have not acted like them. This is not a weakness. This is not stupidity. This is divine.

This is the reason as a human being we are not wiped out of this planet. Such people exist.

This makes the difference.

Thank you for taking time. God bless.

Let me know what are your thoughts.
Do share even if it’s little.
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

TOP MOST BIBLE VERSES ABOUT NOT GIVING UP…EVEN IN THE HARDEST TIMES

Relationship are awesome

Introduction

Hey my friend,giving up is easy. But I don’t want you to give up.
Well,here are few Bible verses about not giving up.

  • 2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. I Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain

Never give up
I will not give up

  • “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)
  • “Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)
  • “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
  • “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
  • “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

Giving up is easy but never give up

Not giving up by any means

  • “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)
  • The Lord Holds Us in His Hands

“Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)

  • There’s a Harvest for Those Who Don’t Give Up

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

  • “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
  • God Is With You

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

This verse reminds us that ultimately God’s plans for us are good, no matter what emotions they make us feel in the moment.

  • His Grace Is Sufficient

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)

HOW CAN I SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP IN 30 SECONDS?

Here I will show you how can I save my relationship in 30 seconds.

How can I save my relationship in 30 seconds
Saving relationship

Well its very easy. I will give you exact steps to follow so that you can achieve your goal.

Let me share steps to achieve youe goal,

1.Communicate effectively

communication is essential to achieve success in relationship. one must learn to express oneself in a relationship. it takes efforts to communicate effectively. do your best to communicate with your partner.

2.Commitment

learning to be effective in relationship requires commitment. you must put all your efforts into your relationship. it should not be half hearted efforts.

3.Show appreciation

appreciation is the oxygen for any good relationship. when you see your partner doing some things effectively and sincerely then dont forget to tell them words of appreciation.

4.Show affection

showing affection is key to achieve success in relationship. express love with your partner, this will improve your relationship.

5.Follow forgiveness

love without forgiveness is fake. when you truly love somebody you are going to see them make mistakes. thats part of life. forgiveness plays an important role in any good relationship. when we forgive someone then we get value from that person. we show them that they are valuable to us.

6.Take responsibility

relationship is based on taking our responsibility. when we are committed to taking responsibility our relationship gets better.

7.Empathy

Empathy is essential part of any good relationship.

8.Time for each other

Taking time for each other is very much important.

9.Patience

Let not impatience destroy your relationship.

Why relationship end? The ultimate guide.

There are no stars to guide us except our own maturity.

No fault in our stars by Titus Vargis.

There are many reasons for relationship ending.

Life is painful often but it has to be dealt with wisely.

No relationship is perfect unless we decide that it’s our responsibility to make it happen.

We are what we choose to do. No one can do it all for us. Not even gods.

Why should we not be more mature enough to act like grown up s?


Some of the reasons for relationship failures are,


1. Lack of maturity

Let’s face it, relationship break because of our lack of maturity. We act like we are entitled to what we want at our time. This breaks our relationship.


2. Bad attitude

A bad attitude not only hinders our life but also our relationship.


3. Wrong upbringing

Very often our upbringing determines how we behave with our spouse. It takes hard work and dedication to unlearn wrong things from our behaviour.


4. Feeling of superiority

Very often we act as if we are superior to others. This kills our relationship.


5. Foul language

Saying right things in a wrong way is still wrong.


6. Constant interrogation

If we keep on interrogate our partner it will harm our relationship.


7. Lack of gratitude

This is all about keeping on demanding but not being thankful for good things done by our partner.


8. No place for respect

A relationship without proper respect is a graveyard.


9. Constant comparison

Regular comparison of your spouse with others is a true poison for any relationship.


10. Lack of empathy

Having no empathy is a sure way to kill the relationship.


11. Narcissistic behaviour

Narcissists never achieve anything in life. They are always killing others for their own selfish goals and objectives.

© Titus Vargis

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

How to love a man deeply? 16 ways to impact him for sure.

Never ignore the essential mechanism of your man.

Know deeply your man by Titus Vargis.

There are different love language of men. While women loves to hear ‘I love you’ it’s different for any man.

Let’s quickly find out 16 essential ways to love deeply your man,

1. Walk the talk

Men want to see you love him in your actions.


2. Never ignore him in front of people


3. The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach

Ask him what he loves to eat and give him often.


4. Appreciate his efforts

Love your man by Titus Vargis


5. Look for things that he does so well.


6. Notice him when he excels.


7. Take his advice and guidance.

Before acting on any decisions,make sure to take his opinion.


8. Listen to him.

Listen with your eyes and ears.


9. Make him feel good about himself.M

Make him feel good by your loving words.


10. Show your love using his love language.

Use his love language rather than yours. This will make him feel loved.


11. Stand with him in disappointment.


12. Accept him for who he is.

Never try to compare him with anyone.

Let him be loved as he is. Let him know you love him as he is already.

The message of love by Titus Vargis.


13. Address your complaints respectfully.

Take time and relax. When you are calm and in a good mood discuss your concerns.


14. Ask him for major decision making.

Let him know you value his opinions.


15. Respect his boundaries.


16. Don’t question his silence and alone time.

Understand that it’s imperative for a man to take alone times in order to rethink and rewind himself.

Easier to love by knowledge by Titus Vargis

How to increase love in a relationship?

There are different ways to increase love in a relationship. some of them are as follows,

  1. Commitment

In any relationship,commitment is very important. one must be committed to the relationship.without commitment its impossible to move forward.

02. Transparency

this is also crucial.one must be transparent enough. without it no lasting relationship can take place.
sincerity this gives strength to the relationship.

03. Maturity

This is very important. One must be willing to act as a mature adult. this means willing to act as a grown up.

04. Forgiving

This is important. Forgiveness is the glue of relationship. This is the divine element of a relationship.

05. Communication

This enhances love in a relationship. This makes the relationships alive. Without this relationship is dead.

What does it take to win your love for me?

What does it take to win your love for me? Asking the most crucial question of our relationship.

The main thing is this
The essential things in a relationship

Did you know what breaks relationships very often?

Let me tell you. It is not incompatibility. It’s not behavior. It’s not looks. Not perfection.

It’s simply this: asking your partner each day what does it take to win your love for me today?

Unfortunately,this crucial question is usually asked at the beginning of our relationship.

Later,unknowingly we overlook it. This is the biggest mistake we all make.We begin to undermine the person’s changing nature.

You see,we are evolving with time. Each of us are changing.The person I was ten days or ten years ago is not the same.Even after 10 days I will not remain the same.

We are constantly changing.
It’s said that you can’t step into a river twice.What does that imply?

It implies that our needs keep on changing as time passes by.Today we need something different from yesterday.

What we need today is not what we needed earlier.

Each day we need to ask our partners what their present needs or expectations are.

Once we know that we are better at providing the partner what he or she needs.

Unless we ask this on a regular basis we will be assuming the needs of our partners.Thereby we won’t receive the appreciation that we are looking for.

Moreover we won’t be satisfying our partners by providing that they don’t really need at this moment.

There are different ways to ask this question,like

what is it that you are expecting from me today?

Or what is it that you want me to do for you today?

What necessary things I need to do for you that will meet your needs today?

There is power in this approach.

Let me tell you briefly why asking this question matters,

First of all it gives your partner a sense of significance.

Second, it implies that you are genuinely interested in helping the partner.

Thirdly,it makes it easier for you to find out what can be done now that can improve the life of your partner without hurting him or her.

We are meant to satisfy the person we are interacting with. The more we make others happy the more our relationships get better.

But how can we make others happy unless we ask them what they need?

It’s also significant to note that here your attitude matters most. Words must correlate with genuine attitude.

Once we are getting used to asking this question we will find that we are better at providing what our partner is expecting from us.

It’s not through assumptions that we get success in life or relationships.

But through deliberate efforts and sincerity.
Best wishes,
©Titus Vargis

https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

5 important things as a man I wish I got from my relationship!!

Understanding the heart of a man is essential to meet his real needs.

The essential expectations by Titus Vargis.

Understanding the basics of any good relationship is not easy.

You have to let go of your own idea and ask the other person.

It is the foundation on which any great relationship is being built.

Let me share a few significant needs as a man in my relationship,

01. First Love


This is the thing that moves us. As men we look for that. We want our partners to have that same old spark. We can sense it. We yearn for that. Too often,it is missing.

02. A sense of wonder

As men,we look for a sense of wonder. We want to see that we are still heroes as we were at first sight. How often,we don’t get that. We love to see that we are still the number one in our relationships.

03. Not taken for granted

As men we don’t look for many bigger things. Basically we look for our worth. Are we still worthy or are we taken for granted? Well,we can sense it very easily that we are valued or taken for granted. We love to outperform ourselves but first we want to know that we are valued in our relationships.

04. A sense of gratitude

We look for gratitude. Gratitude in the sense of behavior or attitude. When men are given sufficient gratitude we would like to outperform ourselves. It’s the magic that propels us.

05. Understanding our silence

As men we are not always like women. We go into solitude. We go there to think and plan our lives. We don’t want to be misunderstood. When women respect our solitude we usually are ready to give what we are expected to.

©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com

Are you asking the Right question to others? Alert: This might forever change their destiny.

The power of a more sensible approach towards others even when you don’t want to help others.

The power to impact others by Titus Vargis

Read this story from Titus Vargis,PhD on Medium: https://titusvargis.medium.com/are-you-asking-the-right-questions-to-others-alert-doing-so-can-forever-change-their-destiny-b9a154ee1de7

Hey, are you struggling with depression? Let me share how my Suicidal tendencies went Away?

Love and marriage

Life is hard sometimes and you can’t lose your precious life but how?

How my Suicidal tendencies went Away?

It’s not easy. It’s monumental.
It’s not a sickness that you take a pill and it goes away.

My struggle with the darkness by Titus Vargis

Let me come to the point,to say it in short.

First things first,

1. Suicidal thoughts are born out of long term sufferings of stress & harsh realities of life.

2. It’s not possible to get out of it by forcing one’s thoughts alone. No one can get out of it like that. It is ridiculous!

No,it does not work that way. You are Outrightly wrong. It’s not a physical sickness just like cough and cold.

3.Suicidal tendencies are out of one’s control. Understand this. No one wants to live like that.It’s a living hell. One can’t escape by himself.

4. Suicidal thoughts can develop over a period of time while being in total failure, death of a loved one, terrible loss in life or business,terminal sickness & sufferings.

5. The person who is affected by it already has done everything to come out of it but he’s helpless. This is the number one truth. He is really really helpless,and that’s the reason he’s thinking of ending his life.

No one likes to stay depressed by Titus Vargis
My struggle with depression by Titus Vargis.

Now,let me share my experience:

Suicidal thoughts were not in me until my father was alive. But once he had passed away I went into a stage of utter despondency.



I was the eldest son and I had a younger brother. We were still studying in schools. My mother had no job. Financially we were struggling.

During this period,I developed abnormal fears, including fear of people,fear of open spaces.

This created total imbalance in our family. This deeply affected my wellbeing.

As an eldest Son, I had the responsibility to look after my mother and brother.

Here I was in utter darkness & I felt I was not living upto my family’s expectations. I was unable to stay normal and earn a living.

I developed serious depression & went to consult the doctor. Doctor prescribed some medicines for me. I wanted to come out of this mess.

Medication really helped me. Previously I could not sleep at night but now I was sleeping well. My fears subsided to an extent and I attempted to start living my normal life once again.



Financially I had nothing to support my family so that I can feel proud about myself. Feelings of worthlessness increased my depression.I felt I was useless. I found no hope.

I developed a whole range of depressive thinking, different fears, and anger.

I attempted suicide many times. I did not see any point in living. I had tried all ways to get rid of depression. Medicines,Yoga, Positive talk, Exercises.

Nothing brought any lasting solution. Staying positive did not help.Nothing worked.Absolutely.

Medicines did not cure my suicidal tendencies. I was fed up with my life. I did not want to live as a burden to others.

Happiness is costly by Titus Vargis


Deep down my heart I wanted to live and earn lots of money. It didn’t happen. No one saved me.



My mother was a praying woman. She kept on praying for my recovery. She prayed to Jesus. Her prayers brought my answers. My life began to change.

My plans of suicide did not work. I must say I am alive because of Jesus Christ.

It was all because of my Heavenly Father. He just would not let me commit suicide. All my plans to end my life could not succeed.

I must say it took a while for me to become normal. It’s been more than 10 years now. Since then I have never thought about suicide.



My life is no longer the same. I now from my experience can say that no medicines can cure suicidal tendencies. No surface level efforts either.

I believe one must have a paradigm shift. One can’t just get over these dangerous tendencies just by thinking or behaving the right way.

Suicide is deeply related to our Soul. It’s a sickness of the Soul.

Unless and until this soul sickness is dealt with, one just can’t overcome it.



One surely can overcome suicidal tendencies with the help of God. Jesus Christ is the answer. God alone can heal this sickness of the Soul.

When the Soul is healed, a person begins to think about living boldly no matter what.

I believe this experience will help a lot of others who go through suicidal tendencies.

Thank you very much for reading.I am glad you read it.

Best wishes,

© Titus Vargis

Hey,cheer up! Let me show how I overcame the dark times when my father passed away.

Life is not a bed of Roses still lot of it depends on how we manage ourselves.



I really can not explain what the relationship I had with my daddy.
It was a relationship built in heaven.No one can come close to my dad.

My black days and years by Titus Vargis.


I lost him suddenly and it left me a world full of unknowns.
O my how would I move an inch without my earthly God? This was my constant thoughts.


I was afraid.I was willing to suicide even tried to jump into the river.But I think God did not allow it to happen.I was though absolute confident about suicide.
I hated life as a whole.


I came to the TRUE colors of my own.
The plasticity of our society.The wicked heart hiding beneath the sober men and women.


I had to learn to live again.It was hell.It was absolute unnecessary I thought.
So,how anyways I stood on my ground again?


1. My mother stood By me.If there was one solid ground that held me it was my mother.She carried me and came to rescue me.I didn’t see her going away when I needed her the most.

My mother was my Angel by Titus vargis.


2. My supreme help came from my heavenly Father. My God in whom I found refuge.To say the least,it was God who literally stood behind me.It was God who gave me boldness.When all else left me it was the presence of God that stood closer to me.This changed my life.

My Heavenly Father my Saviour by Titus Vargis.


3. My hobbies such as listening music and reading kept me away from serious depression. It was music that changed my mood altogether. Then books.
I survived because of reading the biographies of great men.I purposely read great men and their life stories.I knew if they can succeed I too can.

My hobbies were working by Titus Vargis.


4. My brother stood By me all through my dark times.He was there with me.He never left me.I didn’t feel I am lonely. I was supported By him.He financed me when I had no job.No money in my pocket.I truly thank God for him.

My brother my angel by Titus Vargis.


5. My mentors motivated me.I infact got my mentors through books.They were inspirational and a source of power to me.I felt I too can overcome any difficulties. This transformed my life.This gave me hope.This made me an overcomer.
I have survived all because of these.I could not live well when my dad passed away.
I felt it was impossible to live again.Yet I overcame those difficulties.

My mentors were great by Titus Vargis.


You too can overcome your mountains.


Keep trying. Never give up.Find some mentors.Find your own survival tactics.


Life is precious.Life is beautiful.

© Dr.Titus Vargis

10 things that kill your kid’s positivity and what can you do about it now?

Better parenting by Titus vargis.

Kids are no less than divine. You can kill their positivity unknowingly.

Kids are very fragile and we should know how to handle them.

What kids go through in their life affect their future very much.

Most of the times parents are not careful about how they deal with their kids.

What parents do with their kids have immense impact on their kids. 

Better parenting by Titus Vargis.

Let’s examine what are those things which kill kid’s positivity: 

     01. Constant criticism is the number one poison which kills positivity. Parents who constantly criticise over small things can destroy kid’s self esteem.

    02. Making kids a slave and making them do things forcefully. Kids are slaves when they are required to follow instructions over every things they need to do.This can seriously harm them in their long run.They lose all sense of self worth. 

    03. Abusing kids in behaviour or words.Kids are not stones.They are human beings too.What we as adult feel they feel too. When we abuse them they start abusing themselves. 

    04. Loving kids based on their performance. Kids are often praised or punished as their performance. Kids are not machines.what you think is not possible for them all the times.

    05. Cruel words by parents or family can seriously hamper their positive growth.parents who discipline using harsh and cruel words can discourage their kids.They even can give up and become suicidal. 

    Be an awesome parents by Titus Vargis.

    06. Stop Over pampering. Kids need to be learning uneasy things too.Giving them too much of pampering can make them less confident. 

    07. Violence in any form can literally kill the positivity of your kids.When kids face violence in their homes they can start rebelling. 

    08. Giving them what they ask quickly can hamper their perceptions about reality of life.Kids need to learn that not all things can be obtained as they want.This is life and parents need to teach them.

    09. Taking decisions on behalf of kids can have a negative impact. Let kids take the responsibility and make their own decisions. Ofcourse you can guide them.

    10. Not listening to kids can have a negative impact. They might feel worthless and think that their opinions and matters dont value much.

    Better parenting by Titus vargis.

    PART 02. WHAT CAN YOU DO BETTER AS A PARENT?

    Now let’s see what parents can do to stop being negative to their kids: 

    A. Be careful how you deal with them.They need respect too just as much you do.

    B. Never use harsh words.

    C. Always praise for their small achievements.

    D. Love them more and criticise them less.

    E. Show your full support when they need it from you.Even when they are weak or failing.

    F. Let children know you are on their side.

    G. Stop correcting their behaviour all the time.

    They need freedom and space just as you do.

    Lets see that our kids remain strong as they grow with us.We need to  healthy and confident kids.That must be  the ultimate goal of any parents.

    ©Dr.Titus Verghese,

    (titusvargis.substack.com)

    What if tomorrow Russia might wipe out Ukraine?

    Sing your song
    What if Russia
    Wipe our Ukraine
    While we sing
    Our favorite list.
    Sing your song
    Save those kids
    Apart from yours
    They might kill
    for a piece of bread!
    Sing your song
    shoe is yours
    legs are mine
    It’s hurting.
    Sing your song
    While we watch
    our daily soap
    and favorite
    football team,
    Russia might
    destroy whole
    bunch of innocent
    cities!
    Stop your songs
    look the devastation
    Arise for the kids
    apart from your’s
    Lest they take
    the guns and
    get license to
    Kill.
    ©Titus Vargis
    divinemedia111@gmail.com