advice
Dear traveler on the journey called life, let me share something.
You are not your thoughts tell you.
Dear traveler,
I am glad to meet you and say something to you.
I believe we all have different names to comment on our struggles on this journey. But I think that we all have the same struggles.
We might be poor or rich. We might be less confident or more.
We might be from countries that are called developed or not so.
We might be thinking we are alone. We think we are here but no one knows us.
Yet,we can’t blame anyone. We are still warriors. We need someone like a mirror that says so. This is the thing we lack. We have many doomsayers. We have many who discourage us.
Yet we are conquerors. We are not aware. The main secret is this: we must not quit.
Sooner or later,we win. We get to the destination. We are really not alone. It’s our mind that tells us that we are alone. Like our mind being programmed .
Share with someone what you go through. Find someone. No one is perfect. We are still traveling.
It’s our ego that stops us from association. It’s our prejudices. It’s our culture. You know what? If we overcome these,we will win together.
Why not? Ask yourself. Ask the universe. Ask the roads. Here,we are not losers.
Stand up. Walk again. Move a bit if you can’t run.
Don’t stop. Let’s start again. Together. Give me your hand. Hold me and let’s run.
I believe in you. Our destiny calls us. Thank you.
Yours brother,
A traveler.
What God really really wants?
The monumental question mankind has been struggling with.
The most crucial question in the World is this: what God wants?
The strength of the question is not in the ‘what’ but in GOD.
Humankind has been asking this question from ages.
The man in his search for meaning and significance realised that no one can give him meaning and significance on this planet but GOD.
The question implies that there is a GOD. Our existence demands our significance.
We as a human being are looking for the reasons behind our existence.
The GOD factor helps us to face the uncertainties of this planet.
Gods and the question by Titus Vargis.
We don’t find our meaning and significance in our money or people. People are not the ones we are looking for our monumental question.
We look to GOD for our monumental question. We know that the one who brought us into this planet is GOD himself.
For centuries mankind has founded religions and practices that try to give his soul the answers.
What God wants? How can we answer this question?
We must go through the oceans of the Holy Books and the story tellers.
We have found that God wants our heart,body,money,soul and so on.
But does this confirm our answers?
Are we sure about this?
If God wants bla bla bla bla bla….then why God is still God sitting somewhere and doing nothing…?
The truth that we search for is this,
GOD HAS EVERYTHING. GOD IS LARGER THAN EVERYTHING.
GOD IS SO FULL OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED NOT GIVE HIM ANYTHING.
MOREOVER THE MOST MONUMENTAL TRUTH IS THIS: GOD DID NOT ASK THIS QUESTION.
IT WAS NOT THE QUESTION THAT GOD ASKED. GOD WANTS NOTHING. GOD OWNS THE MILKYWAY AND THE STARS. THE UNIVERSE BELONGS TO HIM.
once you look onto this truth, you are changed forever. God is not looking for something. God cares nothing about what you give to Him.
It’s the so called religion and priests that demand everything in the name of God. So that they get everything in the name of God.
The Power behind the religion is putting up lots of requirements to the people. Unless you put impossible requirements people won’t come to you for help.
The monumental answer by Titus Vargis.Photo by Adnan Khan on Unsplash
This creates a cycle of exploitation. This way people can be effectively exploited. We see for centuries mankind has been duped.
Even the so called good religions are exploiting in the name of their gods.
Let’s examine these answers. Let’s find the exploitation and demand answers from the so called keepers of gods.
© Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
Giving up is Okay and 10 other uncommon perspectives on living your life.
Life is an adventure.
1. People are everywhere.You need to learn to interact with them.
2. Problems are part of association. As long as we are here on this planet,we will get hurt some way or the other. Accept this.
3. Learn to deal with the weirdness of the masses.
4. Family is the only shelter available here on this Earth. Treat them with utmost importance.
5. No matter what, learn to ask forgiveness from your family. Accept that you made the mistake if you have made it.
6. Loneliness is the most cruel reality of our life on the planet. Learn to embrace it.
7. Develop some habits. It can be anything that you find joy. Immerse yourself into it. It heals your body and soul.
8. You are a soul with a body. Looking after your soul is more important than your body. Learn to feed your soul.
9. Associate with some humans. Find someone who can accompany you. Find your partner.
10.Giving up is okay. Find something new. Keep seeking. No one can tell you what you must do.
11. Life is an adventure. Learn more and more. Unlearn something that you have learnt in the past which serves nothing.
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
TOP MOST BIBLE VERSES ABOUT NOT GIVING UP…EVEN IN THE HARDEST TIMES
Introduction
Hey my friend,giving up is easy. But I don’t want you to give up.
Well,here are few Bible verses about not giving up.
- 2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. I Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain
- “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)
- “Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)
- “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
- “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
- “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
Not giving up by any means
- “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)
- The Lord Holds Us in His Hands
“Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.” – Psalm 37:24 (NIV)
- There’s a Harvest for Those Who Don’t Give Up
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
- “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)
- God Is With You
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
This verse reminds us that ultimately God’s plans for us are good, no matter what emotions they make us feel in the moment.
- His Grace Is Sufficient
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)
Why relationship end? The ultimate guide.
There are no stars to guide us except our own maturity.
There are many reasons for relationship ending.
Life is painful often but it has to be dealt with wisely.
No relationship is perfect unless we decide that it’s our responsibility to make it happen.
We are what we choose to do. No one can do it all for us. Not even gods.
Why should we not be more mature enough to act like grown up s?
Some of the reasons for relationship failures are,
1. Lack of maturity
Let’s face it, relationship break because of our lack of maturity. We act like we are entitled to what we want at our time. This breaks our relationship.
2. Bad attitude
A bad attitude not only hinders our life but also our relationship.
3. Wrong upbringing
Very often our upbringing determines how we behave with our spouse. It takes hard work and dedication to unlearn wrong things from our behaviour.
4. Feeling of superiority
Very often we act as if we are superior to others. This kills our relationship.
5. Foul language
Saying right things in a wrong way is still wrong.
6. Constant interrogation
If we keep on interrogate our partner it will harm our relationship.
7. Lack of gratitude
This is all about keeping on demanding but not being thankful for good things done by our partner.
8. No place for respect
A relationship without proper respect is a graveyard.
9. Constant comparison
Regular comparison of your spouse with others is a true poison for any relationship.
10. Lack of empathy
Having no empathy is a sure way to kill the relationship.
11. Narcissistic behaviour
Narcissists never achieve anything in life. They are always killing others for their own selfish goals and objectives.
© Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
How to love a man deeply? 16 ways to impact him for sure.
Never ignore the essential mechanism of your man.
There are different love language of men. While women loves to hear ‘I love you’ it’s different for any man.
Let’s quickly find out 16 essential ways to love deeply your man,
1. Walk the talk
Men want to see you love him in your actions.
2. Never ignore him in front of people
3. The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
Ask him what he loves to eat and give him often.
4. Appreciate his efforts
Love your man by Titus Vargis
5. Look for things that he does so well.
6. Notice him when he excels.
7. Take his advice and guidance.
Before acting on any decisions,make sure to take his opinion.
8. Listen to him.
Listen with your eyes and ears.
9. Make him feel good about himself.M
Make him feel good by your loving words.
10. Show your love using his love language.
Use his love language rather than yours. This will make him feel loved.
11. Stand with him in disappointment.
12. Accept him for who he is.
Never try to compare him with anyone.
Let him be loved as he is. Let him know you love him as he is already.
13. Address your complaints respectfully.
Take time and relax. When you are calm and in a good mood discuss your concerns.
14. Ask him for major decision making.
Let him know you value his opinions.
15. Respect his boundaries.
16. Don’t question his silence and alone time.
Understand that it’s imperative for a man to take alone times in order to rethink and rewind himself.
What does it take to win your love for me?
What does it take to win your love for me? Asking the most crucial question of our relationship.
Did you know what breaks relationships very often?
Let me tell you. It is not incompatibility. It’s not behavior. It’s not looks. Not perfection.
It’s simply this: asking your partner each day what does it take to win your love for me today?
Unfortunately,this crucial question is usually asked at the beginning of our relationship.
Later,unknowingly we overlook it. This is the biggest mistake we all make.We begin to undermine the person’s changing nature.
You see,we are evolving with time. Each of us are changing.The person I was ten days or ten years ago is not the same.Even after 10 days I will not remain the same.
We are constantly changing.
It’s said that you can’t step into a river twice.What does that imply?
It implies that our needs keep on changing as time passes by.Today we need something different from yesterday.
What we need today is not what we needed earlier.
Each day we need to ask our partners what their present needs or expectations are.
Once we know that we are better at providing the partner what he or she needs.
Unless we ask this on a regular basis we will be assuming the needs of our partners.Thereby we won’t receive the appreciation that we are looking for.
Moreover we won’t be satisfying our partners by providing that they don’t really need at this moment.
There are different ways to ask this question,like
what is it that you are expecting from me today?
Or what is it that you want me to do for you today?
What necessary things I need to do for you that will meet your needs today?
There is power in this approach.
Let me tell you briefly why asking this question matters,
First of all it gives your partner a sense of significance.
Second, it implies that you are genuinely interested in helping the partner.
Thirdly,it makes it easier for you to find out what can be done now that can improve the life of your partner without hurting him or her.
We are meant to satisfy the person we are interacting with. The more we make others happy the more our relationships get better.
But how can we make others happy unless we ask them what they need?
It’s also significant to note that here your attitude matters most. Words must correlate with genuine attitude.
Once we are getting used to asking this question we will find that we are better at providing what our partner is expecting from us.
It’s not through assumptions that we get success in life or relationships.
But through deliberate efforts and sincerity.
Best wishes,
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
5 important things as a man I wish I got from my relationship!!
Understanding the heart of a man is essential to meet his real needs.
Understanding the basics of any good relationship is not easy.
You have to let go of your own idea and ask the other person.
It is the foundation on which any great relationship is being built.
Let me share a few significant needs as a man in my relationship,
01. First Love
This is the thing that moves us. As men we look for that. We want our partners to have that same old spark. We can sense it. We yearn for that. Too often,it is missing.
02. A sense of wonder
As men,we look for a sense of wonder. We want to see that we are still heroes as we were at first sight. How often,we don’t get that. We love to see that we are still the number one in our relationships.
03. Not taken for granted
As men we don’t look for many bigger things. Basically we look for our worth. Are we still worthy or are we taken for granted? Well,we can sense it very easily that we are valued or taken for granted. We love to outperform ourselves but first we want to know that we are valued in our relationships.
04. A sense of gratitude
We look for gratitude. Gratitude in the sense of behavior or attitude. When men are given sufficient gratitude we would like to outperform ourselves. It’s the magic that propels us.
05. Understanding our silence
As men we are not always like women. We go into solitude. We go there to think and plan our lives. We don’t want to be misunderstood. When women respect our solitude we usually are ready to give what we are expected to.
©Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
On 5 reasons why I like my relationship in spite of 100 reasons to quit!
There ain’t no heaven on earth frankly speaking.
On why I choose to not quit by Titus Vargis
Well the title itself says it all. We are all sum total of our imperfections and strengths. No one is from above.
We can do two things,either we can look at good things or imperfections in our lives and relationships.
Both views have an immense impact on the quality of our lives and relationships.
Either we will look to good things and focus only on it. Thereby lead a great life. The other option is looking for imperfections and getting doomed.
We actually have no real choice here on earth. We have to embrace the imperfections no matter what.
Well,the choice is up to you and me.
Let me share my five reasons on why I appreciate my relationship,
01. Life is short to keep on looking for perfect relationships. Really you and I can’t keep on moving from one relationship to another. Each of us have immense imperfections. It’s wise to stick to the one who shares your life values and loves you.
02. Loneliness is the most common sickness that leads to death. I don’t want to live alone and get lost in life. I choose to stay in my relationship.
03. We both have different strengths and we both meet the needs of each other. That’s why I stay in my relationship.
04. My relationship gives me a sense of significance. I stay in my relationship because it gives me a meaning in life.
05. I have seen many relationships getting broken around. I don’t want to lose my opportunities in life. I stay and know that life is an adventure filled with lots of happiness and surprises.
©Titus Vargis, PhD
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
Most crucial facts about your life and relationship
There are no shortcuts to fulfilling life.
We are a postmodern generation. We have all the comforts which the previous generation did not have.
We are a generation of no scarcity.
Everything is available for us at the time we want it. The downside of this abundance is our lack of thinking about others. We seldom think about giving,but getting.
As a matter of fact we are the most selfish generation of all time.
It’s difficult for us to understand that giving is the only way for getting things in life.
What are the implementations of this? Let me share some important aspects which will bring drastic transformation in our relationships,
01. We get what we give. Let’s get it right.We get respect by first giving respect. Respect is not demanded. We must learn to give respect to our partner no matter what.
02. Love is not a product that we can get by money,or power. Love is not dependent on our education or status. We must first give love in order to get it.
03. Just as accidents on roads are part of driving on the road, mistakes are part of being human It’s hard to expect perfection from a being that is bound to make mistakes because we are not robots. Accept mistakes as mistakes. Treat it like an accident. No one drives just to get into any accident. It happens. Unless we treat weakness as an integral part of our existence we would kill each other and harbor grudges.
04. In life 5 plus 5 is not always 10. What I mean is that you cannot expect people to act logically each time. We are also emotional beings. We do things sometimes out of our feelings of fear or anger. We may go wrong sometimes. It happens. Understand that life is not predictable. Things go wrong in spite of our careful calculations.
05. Every day is a golden opportunity to do something different. No one is chained to act as if life is meaningless. Why not try a different approach? Why not try talking in a fair way? Why not make some other plans if plan A has gone wrong? Life is an adventure. Why don’t we change the patterns that make our relationship dull or boring?
©Titus Vargis.
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
51 Power words for raising smart kids.
It takes something more to raise a smart child,what are they?
Power words to use by Titus Vargis.
Kids are spontaneous and they find real happiness in the simple pleasures of life.
They get thrilled and enjoy little things like when they see a small bird, jump over dirty puddles, and even when they get to have their favorite ice creams.
They also like us go through the occasional blues,feel sad and be depressed too.
Power words can instill smart skills in kids to face life smartly.
These power words for kids are a great addition to a child’s vocabulary. These vocabulary words for kids really help them learn how to be encouraging, kind and nurturing.
It creates an encouraging and nurturing environment, which is helpful for their well-being and growth.
Here is a list of Power words for kids to help them build a strong and encouraging vocabulary.
1.Awesome
2.Trustful
3.Confident
4.Leader
5.Passionate
6.Young
7.Motivating
8.Adaptable
9.Endearing
10.Adventurous
11.Free
12.Persuasive
13.Practical
14.Decisive
15.Fan
16.Steady
17.Understanding
18.Successful
19.Accomplished
20.Straight
21.Enterprising
22.Witty
23.Forward
24.Warm
25.Courteous
26.Poetic
27.Happy
28.Brave
29.Consistent
30.Stunning
31.Detailed
32.Focused
33.Particular
34.Fervent
35.Quick
36.Fast
37.Talented
38.Nurturing
39.Distinguished
40.Eager
41.Inventor
42.Honest
43.Fascinating
44.Authentic
45.Proud
46.Balanced
47.Wondrous
48.Brilliant
49.Skilled
50.Special
51.Worthy
Raising a smart child by Titus Vargis.
© Titus Vargis
https://loveandmarriagecoach.com
8 innovative ways for navigating your conflicts with your child and maintaining a healthier relationship.
Children are awesome and they deserve better treatment.
Responsible parenting by Titus Vargis
https://www.hindustantimes.com/lifestyle/relationships/peaceful-parenting-8-effective-tips-for-navigating-parent-child-conflicts-and-building-a-healthier-relationship-101691748374464.html
A story from Titus Vargis,PhD on Medium
Read this story from Titus Vargis,PhD on Medium: https://titusvargis.medium.com/hey-my-friend-are-you-looking-for-relationship-transformation-and-refreshing-104d3fcf8c1b
Our pleasure to help you by Titus Vargis.
You are not alone. We are here to help you as you go through rough times in your life and relationship.
Come and see what great things can happen when you believe.
We are here to make you succeed.
Yes,you can find joy again.
© Titus Vargis.
Understanding narcissistic females and 3 very easy ways to deal with them.
You don’t have to be a victim anymore,take control of your life now.
You are not the victim anymore by Titus Vargis.
The fault in our relationship by Titus Vargis
There is a huge rise in abusive females in our world.
It’s not reported by most men out of shame.
Our Society likes to think it’s the female who’s always the weak,so the equation goes like this:
Abusive relationships = men at fault.
The reason behind this equation is that men are stronger than women.
This is the most fallacious misconception. It’s not the truth.
In Fact this is the real culprit. The real cause of marital breakdown.
In any case of reporting to the police,there is bias at work in the system.The police just ignore men and never listen to what men want to say.
Most of the time it won’t be accepted by society that any woman can abuse a man.
This is gross inhuman practice that’s prevalent in many so called developed countries.
Let me put in following points in order to explore these personality:
1) Consider the ads and movies, where it’s common to see women belittling men, even many men are projected there as stupid, foolish.
2) Society, especially narcissistic ones, are training girls and women to abuse men in their lives be it indirectly. The so-called feminist movements add fuel to it.
3) Society as a whole is narrating a different mode of conduct with regards to men.
It’s brainwashing to the point of hating men no matter what.
4) Narcissistic women teach others to refuse to respect any boundaries set by society and men.
There must be a way by Titus Vargis
5) Narcissists play the victim card.
Of course they cry,scream and create drama. They know very well how to influence people a lot so that they will believe in their account.
6) Narcissistic women can’t take any form of constructive feedback.
7) Narcissists lack empathy.
They have no feelings for men! They love a little and hate you at the same time.
8) Narcissists withhold sex to punish men.
9) Narcissists are materialistic.
They will say things like,
you take me out, you give me what I want when I want it.
10.Narcissistic values men based on his financial capabilities.
The blackmail by Titus Vargis
PART B.HOW TO MANAGE A NARCISSISTIC PARTNER?
1.Don’t take the bait.
They are irrational, far from reality. Whatever comes from them is not rational.
Completely ignore them. when they want you to react,just leave the room.
2. When they start to play with your feelings just tell them,
“You are right with your emotions just as I am.”
3.They struggle with their internal chaos and their life shows just the same.
Don’t allow them to dictate your life. Take control of your life.
© Titus Vargis
This is the real thing that wrecks our life and relationships,beware of this!
No one talk about this but this is the real culprit behind our Titanic stories.
Right now,I need this in my life and relationship,I know everyone needs this. Would we be caring enough to do this?
The task no one can say no to but it depends whether we truly understand it’s importance.
The underlying cause by Titus Vargis.
The sad truth is this: we have social connections,enough money and beautiful people in our lives but this is really missing.
Well,in order to live we need three basic necessities: water,food and a home.
But to have an ideal relationship,we need more than these.
We are searching for significance.
Yes,you heard me right.
Deep down of our soul we don’t look for social connections or huge castles but significance.
What’s significance?
It’s a value we get as a human being. To not be treated as a zombie. To be getting respect as an individual,as a homosepians.
We yearn for meaning in life, not 5 star food or star status on the offering.
We look for importance,sense of worth, acceptance more than physical things.
In a relationship,quite often we give everything so easily and we think we have done our best.
Think about this, do you not look for significance? Sense of worth from your relationship?
If we are keen to provide this,other things would not create any issue.
This is the ‘Thing’ that wrecks you and me and everbody.
The Matrix by Titus Vargis
This the it that breaks beautiful relationship.
This is the reason others get hurt and you too when you are treated less than being worthwhile.
Best wishes,
© Titus vargis
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