Hey my friend, are you in tears? Think about your life and how it brought you immense value.
We always take for granted the good things that happen to us. Things could have been worse. Yes, indeed.
Here i was too recently frustrated about my own failures and defeats.
Life taught me that not all failures are negative. Some really are crucial for our value and maturity.
Here I would be sharing a few such things that I found to be crucial in my development as a mature adult. What are they?
Your persistence has brought you this far, a truly heroic deed. You could have given up halfway, but you didn’t.
Your life experiences have shaped you into a more mature individual. Congratulations are in order.
Adversity has played a significant role in your growth. While it may seem surprising, you have learned valuable lessons from tough times that deserve gratitude.
Pain has enriched your life, despite its discomfort. It has contributed to your personal growth and maturity.
Your family, even if just one person, has supported you through your lowest moments.
You have been guided by a higher power, whether it be God or someone you trust. Reflect on the times when you felt rescued and express your gratitude.
My father was an active member of the church. He was enthusiastic.
I watched him doing his best. He thought it was a duty to serve and he did out of compassion.
He was a full-time teacher. He used to teach in a college. There too he was excited to share about Jesus.
He did his job faithfully. He had a sense that God is interested in our whole being. There is no dichotomy. You are everywhere the same. Either in the job or in the church.
To cut everything short, he was a sincere father, husband, and a faithful disciple.
We never saw him enjoying life as he was constantly on the move.
My experience by tv.
If he is not in the job he will be doing service. He never spent a holiday at home or other entertainment.
He was sick in the later years of his life. He was getting very weak.
He couldn’t move or drive by himself. He had to take medicine. He had severe kidney disease.
We had no money to treat. We children were still in our schools.
It was getting harder for my father to go to work. He was on medicines. He showed little strength to do both job and service.
Later he resigned from the job. His condition deteriorated.
The main thing I want to share is this, when my father became sick no one including his brother bothered to help him.
We were expecting his family would come and help.
Even though all throughout his life he served the church yet the church didn’t look after our father.
You might say, well, what can the church do? I say everything!
We didn’t have anyone to support us. No one was there to guide us. He was lonely. He was exhausted. He too was surprised that no one from his own family had come.
Here lies my question. What is the responsibility of a church? Is it wrong to expect some help from the church?
Is it right to give up on someone who all throughout his life served for the church?
I was still in school. Later my father passed away due to the situation getting serious.
We were orphans by then . Still then the church didn’t come and had sympathy towards us.
My mother was devastated. She had great hopes that believers would stand with her.
We were wrong. Our hopes were wrong. Nothing happened. No one cared.
This affected me and my family so much.
Christ who had died on the Cross didn’t die for some but for all. Why does the church who speaks about love very often don’t show love to someone like us? If you profess to be the ambassadors of Christ, the Saviour, then what about love?!
Unless you show love then what’s the point of your message of love?
I was deeply hurt after my father’s death. I became depressed. I started taking medicines.
My mother took a small job to bear our expenses.
To this day, I don’t understand how you can claim to be the disciples if you never show compassion?!
Loneliness is the most cruel enemy by Titus Vargis.
I was sick last night. Everyone was asleep. I was shivering. I couldn’t manage with a little medicine.
I realized I needed to take someone’s help. I couldn’t handle the shivering. Still then I changed my mind. I didn’t wake up others. As they all were in deep sleep.
I am like that. I manage most of the time. This time it was going out of control. I know it’s getting harder.
We all need someone by Titus Vargis.
That day I learnt the important lessons of life and relationships. Quickly, I found a notebook and wrote this. Later the next day.
The main thing is this: What do we really really need, deep down? Especially in times of struggling and sickness.
What does it take to help someone else who is also traveling on this great journey of life?
Put in place of someone who is lonely, sick, tired, poor, fighting for survival, relationship battles, intense pain.
What will bring solace? Peace? Connection? Significance? Meaning?
One step at a time by Titus Vargis.
Let me share a few things,
1. Being there with the person.
2. Smiling and letting them know he is not alone.
3. Looking at him. Looking into his eyes closely.
4. Showing him that at this time he is the most important person on this planet earth.
5. Less words but more affection and sympathy.
6. Putting your legs in his shoes. Empathy.
7. Reading between the lines.
8. Holding his hands and making him feel special. Touching signifies value.
Touch him by Titus Vargis.
9. Spend at least 40 minutes with him. Just be there. Your presence is healing to him.
Is it too much?! No. You will be remembered forever. Try it.
Once you are in pain, struggling you will need someone else.
Meanwhile, why can’t you be a light to the ones who are in darkness.
Loneliness can be dealt with by Titus Vargis.
Who knows, you might be the only one who lights up his darkness. Is this silly?! No!! 10000 times, no.
From Discord to Accord: Navigating Our Marriage’s 7 Hurdles
The most common by tv.
Introduction
The journey of marriage, while fulfilling, brings its unique sets of trials.
In this share, we dive into the difficulties we’ve crossed and how these hurdles, rather than being obstacles, became chances for us to mature together.
Facing our problems directly and letting our guards down, we found unexpected strengths.
This is our story through the seven hurdles of our marriage and our path from discord to accord.
1. Communication Barriers
Silence’s Roots
Initially, our lack of communication was a vast gap, originating from a fear of judgment, fear of conflict, and the fear of showing our authentic selves.
Melting the Ice
We found that initiating communication could start with something as straightforward as a text, a note, or simply asking about each other’s day. These actions helped break the ice.
Keeping Communication Alive
Now, open and consistent dialogue is a staple in our routine. We ensure to touch base daily, keeping our conversation flowing without interruption.
God help! By tv.
2. Different Financial Vision
Understanding Our Finances
It was crucial to be completely open about our financial situations, to understand our individual positions, and to plan our joint financial future effectively.
Aligning Our Dreams
Through continuous, candid conversations, we identified areas where our financial dreams overlapped and could be aligned with some adjustments.
Executing Our Plan
We began by setting up a joint budget and defining shared financial objectives, taking steps together towards achieving our common dreams one at a time.
3. Varying Parenting Styles
No problem! By tv.
Recognizing the Contrast
Accepting that our parenting styles were at odds was challenging, as it often felt like our methods conflicted rather than complement each other.
Consulting an Expert
Seeking advice from a parenting professional proved invaluable, offering us unbiased guidance on harmonizing our parenting strategies.
Presenting a United Stand
We learned the significance of standing united in front of our children, supporting each other’s decisions to maintain consistency.
4. Household Responsibilities Dispute
The Battle of Chores
The division of household chores was a frequent source of contention, as negotiations over who should do what and when often resulted in disagreements.
Finding Middle Ground Through Discussion
We discovered that dialogue and willing compromises play vital roles. A chore schedule that fairly allocates tasks, considering our personal likes and time limitations, was created.
Keeping the Balance
Maintaining this harmony requires tools like shared calendars and reminders. It’s about working together, continually adapting and learning.
5. Disagreement on Leisure Time
Balancing Individual and Shared Interests
Finding the right balance between personal interests and time spent together has been delicate.
Recognizing the importance of both has been key to our harmony.
Exploring Common Interests
Engaging in activities we both enjoy has enriched our relationship.
Whether it’s cycling together or cooking, it’s about creating happy memories together.
Honoring Individual Time
Establishing boundaries for personal time has helped us engage in our interests without feeling guilty, understanding that time apart is healthy and contributes to our relationship’s growth.
6. The Intimacy Aspect
Addressing the Unspoken
Discussing our intimate life required openness and vulnerability, a journey that wasn’t straightforward but necessary.
Reigniting the Connection
We’ve ventured into new territories to connect on deeper levels, both emotionally and physically, which has brought about discovery, laughter, and sometimes, stepping out of our comfort zones.
Making Us a Priority
Elevating our intimate relationship has surprisingly enriched our bond, demonstrating the power of connecting deeply, consistently, and with love.
7. Managing External Influences
Making a way by tv.
Friends and Family Dynamics
The balance between our marriage and our relations with friends and in-laws has required careful navigation.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Creating boundaries has been essential in protecting our relationship while still preserving meaningful relationships with those close to us.
Cultivating Mutual Respect
Working on mutual respect for each other’s external relationships has been about understanding, respecting, and supporting each other’s need for these connections.
Conclusion
Our expedition showed us that tackling marital challenges isn’t about confrontation but about uniting to find solutions. Seeking professional guidance offered us invaluable tools and insights. At its core, teamwork, fueled by love, respect, and a readiness to evolve, has been vital in turning our frustrations into harmony.
FAQs
Initiating Discussions on Dislikes
Approach with love and respect, targeting behaviors rather than character traits, and articulate your feelings with “I feel” statements.
Finding Middle Ground on Issues
Seeking professional advice can provide fresh viewpoints and strategies for reconciliation, proving sometimes an external view is what’s needed.
The Role of Professional Assistance
It’s incredibly beneficial, offering practical tools and advice to navigate challenges more effectively.
Can Minor Changes Significantly Benefit a Marriage?
Indeed. Small acts of kindness, appreciation, and understanding can significantly strengthen the relationship.
Ensuring Lasting Changes
Commitment, ongoing effort, and open communication are crucial. Regular discussions on progress can help sustain these adjustments.
Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs, much like navigating the open sea.
What ensures our relationship does not just survive but thrives, reaching the shores of enduring happiness?
It comes down to our daily deliberate efforts to strengthen and deepen our connection.
Here, we reveal twelve secrets for a flourishing partnership, rooted in wisdom, effective strategies, and sincere advice.
1. Communication: The Essence of Connection
Empathetic Listening
Understanding each other in a relationship transcends mere hearing.
It’s about empathetic listening, striving to grasp not only the spoken words but also the feelings and motives they convey, fostering a profound sense of appreciation and understanding.
Transparent Expression of Needs
Effectively conveying what you desire without sparking conflict is crucial.
Beginning sentences with “I feel” rather than pointing fingers can pave the way for open, constructive dialogue, fortifying your relationship.
Skills in Resolving Disputes
Disagreements are bound to happen, yet they don’t need to lead to enduring conflicts.
Seeing disputes as chances for growth, taking breaks when emotions flare, or trying to comprehend before seeking to be understood can change these instances into opportunities for strengthening your bond.
2. Mutual Respect: Love’s Bedrock
Appreciating Individuality
The unique differences of your partner are among the many reasons you fell in love.
Embracing and celebrating these traits can enrich your relationship, offering fresh insights and chances for growth.
Supporting Personal Ambitions
Encouraging your partner’s dreams involves more than just cheering from the sidelines.
It means actively backing their goals, celebrating their achievements as though they were your own, and nurturing a partnership that grows together.
Understanding Boundaries
In any thriving relationship, establishing and honoring boundaries is key.
They preserve individuality, prevent bitterness, and assure both partners feel acknowledged and valued.
3. Quality Time: Building Memorable Moments
Consistent Date Nights
Amidst life’s hustle, setting aside time for regular dates rekindles romance, signaling that beyond all responsibilities, there’s a loving relationship worth cherishing.
Exploring Common Interests
Finding and enjoying shared activities not only strengthens your connection but offers a delightful break from daily routines, allowing both to discover new aspects of your partnership.
Maintaining Family Traditions
Preserving family traditions foster a sense of belonging and continuity.
These practices, whether a weekly breakfast or yearly vacation, forge precious memories that fortify your family’s bond.
4. Financial Unity: Managing Money Together
Open Financial Conversations
Creating a safe space for open financial discussions is foundational to trust and cooperation in money management.
Shared Financial Objectives
Pursuing common financial aims is a collective journey.
It involves integrating your dreams and moving together towards your envisioned future.
Tackling Debt Collectively
Addressing debt as a united front is essential.
Decide on strategies that suit you both, be it reducing expenses or increasing income. Remember, unity makes you stronger.
5. Intimacy: Deepening Emotional and Physical Connections
Emotional Intimacy
This form of intimacy goes beyond the physical, aiming to forge a deep emotional bond.
Sharing your deepest fears, hopes, and more, in a judgment-free zone, solidifies trust and love.
Keeping the Passion Alive
It’s crucial to maintain physical intimacy and passion. This includes finding opportunities for closeness amidst busy lives, exploring shared desires, and continually pursuing one another.
Adapting to Changes Together
As we evolve, our needs can change.
Open discussions and mutual adaptation can ensure your connection stays strong through all of life’s shifts.
Conclusion
Venturing towards a fulfilling married life is an ongoing adventure, filled with challenges and joys.
By weaving these twelve secrets into your partnership, you navigate marital waters more smoothly and build a relationship that is resilient, loving, and deeply fulfilling.
Let these guidelines steer you towards a serene domestic harmony, filled with warmth, happiness, and an unbreakable bond. Remember, the brightest days are ahead.
FAQs
Q: How can we better our communication despite being very busy?
Improving communication amidst a hectic schedule begins with intentional actions. Consider setting up regular times to check in, sharing your day-to-day experiences, feelings, and making time to truly connect.
Q: What if our financial goals differ?
The key lies in open communication and finding a middle ground. Understand each other’s viewpoints, seek common goals, and prioritize in a way that includes both perspectives, perhaps with professional financial advice.
Q: How can we find a hobby that interests both of us?
List out each person’s interests and look for commonalities or new activities you’re both eager to try. Exploring various hobbies together can be a fun way to uncover shared passions.
Q: What if one values family traditions more?
Balancing differing views on family traditions requires compromise and innovation. Work together to blend or create new traditions that have meaningful value for both, ensuring everyone’s perspective is respected.
Q: How do we maintain intimacy with the demands of work and family?
Preserving intimacy amidst busy lives demands deliberate effort. Allocating special time for each other, whether through date nights or moments of connection, and openly communicating about desires, are crucial in nurturing and deepening your intimacy.
Dear God, my mind says as well as my heart. What should I do?
God, you created our minds and hearts. You have created everything we can see or cannot. But the most frustrating thing is my mind and my heart saying two different things about the same thing.
This is real hell. This is the cause of so many divorces. Breaking up. Killings. Violence. Murders. Insanity. Etc.
God, if you knew beforehand that a human being will face such a huge crisis then why did you do it?
My battles by tv.
My mind hates some but my heart says don’t hate. My mind calculates everything logically and I think it’s right.
But then my heart screams inside. It says my logic is not right. I should not. I must not.
This lands me into confusion. I keep processing. Both sides. But I am not successful in deciding which one is the best guide?
Sometimes, my heart says go for it. Forgive one more time. Love one more time. Give help once more.
But my mind says different. It says don’t believe that person again. Don’t forgive. Act wisely.
God, you made the heavens and the Earth. The stars and the galaxies. Sea and all the creatures.
This is so vast and wonderful. Sometimes, I hate this confusion. The war inside of me.
I am torn between. No one seems to understand this. Rather no one can rescue.
I know I won’t get rid of this. I must learn to dance in spite of this.
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